Currently in a relationship, who I lowkey despise sometimes out of frustration, but then love so suddenly.
The fights, my anger, his stupidity…I’m not ready for marriage and kids, as I feel like I am driving myself against the wall, just to make him happy – and the minute I want happiness, he makes excuses to hang with someone or friends in general. When he make excuses, I get piled with emotion and want to lash out. Don’t worry I am seeking help, but he’s not a good partner. And I try my best to be understanding, but eh. Idgaf sometimes
Marriage requires alot of strength, and I honestly dont have that. I want a big family, but people’s relationship stories, mine personal story, my ex – they just drive me insane.
No need for inputs. Just #offmychest
Comments
He’s not a good partner? Why are you still in this relationship?
Break up is your answer. You are not happy this is a good reason. You end this relationship. Be with someone who put you first.
From us children of relationships such as yours. Please don’t have kids. We don’t want fucked up childhoods. We don’t want to struggle most of our lives with CPTSD, trust issues and chronic depression.
We do not want to day dream about getting run over by a bus at bus stops.
So why stay…
Right. It sounds like a really tough spot to be in… honestly, recognizing this takes immense strength. You’re seeing that this relationship isn’t a source of joy and support, but rather a constant battle, and that’s understandable. Sometimes, despite best efforts, people just aren’t compatible, and forcing a partnership can actually be more harmful than being alone. Trust your intuition and prioritize your well-being, it’s not selfish to want happiness, it’s a fundamental need. Let go of the idea of what a “perfect” relationship should be, and focus on what truly serves you
Break up, hit the gym, see a therapist, touch grass
“My boyfriend sucks and I don’t want to marry or have kids with him.”
K lol
I don’t understand why there are ppl antagonizing you for getting this off your chest. I’m pretty sure that’s the point of this Reddit.
girl be serious rn. if you want to vent— write in your diary, your notes app, or say it aloud. the point of reddit is to interact with posts and post comments. you should’ve locked this post so people can’t respond instead of being nasty towards people. you clearly like staying in this relationship, which is why you’re being rude to anyone that’s giving you legit advice. you don’t want to get out, you don’t want to take charge of your life, you don’t want to move on. you want to wallow in your self pity and complain about everything he’s doing wrong, while you fail to see all of your own failings. be fucking fr
Please please please do not have a child with this man. In fact if you are not ELATED at the thought of marrying him or having kids in general then DON’T
What’s keeping you from leaving?
Never settle.
you just don’t want to have kids with him is what you’re trying to say. you’ll change your mind once you find someone who’s the complete opposite of your boyfriend. either stop making excuses/complaints and break up with your boyfriend or you both put in the effort of bettering this relationship because the longer this drags out, the more likely chance that you’ll end up with an accident that’ll be dependent on you for the rest of your life.
I dont know why anyone is wasting their time giving the OP any advice at all. They are not even taking any of it in and making loads of excuses 🙄
A good, healthy relationship is not a burden and doesn’t make you feel this way.
You are going to put your entire life and future on hold for someone who would NOT do the same for you; in fact, someone who does the opposite and puts YOUR life on hold for HIS OWN life. You have to wait for him to have friend time, you have to pause what you do for him, you can’t rely on him, your time and needs and emotions matter less than his comfort.
If you don’t want children because you personally don’t feel emotionally/financially/physically equipped and capable of caring for a tiny person who depends solely on you and is at times going to piss you off, stress you out, and exhaust you, while simultaneously needing 24/7 unconditional love and care, that makes a lot of sense.
If you don’t want children because you don’t trust your partner to be a reliable spouse and parent, due to the behavior they are already exhibiting in your relationship that is NOT strained by having a child, then your partner is not someone you should be with.
Your choices for having or not having a child should not be solely dependent on your partner. They should be personal and mutual reasons that you share and agree on together.
It’s clear to me that despite you desperately wanting a family in the future, you feel your partner is failing to live up to what YOU need and thus, going to fail to be a good spouse and parent in the future.
Break up with them if they do not want to or are incapable of changing. He already puts your entire life on hold for his own. You should NOT contribute to this dynamic. You will be 45 and will realize life has passed you by and you missed out on things you wanted. Find someone who would treat you the same way you treat them.
So… why are you still even in this relationship? Sounds like you could stand with some internal work before being in a relationship.