I (17F) and my partner (16M) Have been dating almost 10 months now and i just remembered something i can’t stop thinking about something that happened around christmas (me and him were together for around 2 months then). In december, 7 of us went ice skating (4x F, 3x M). A few of us couldn’t skate so they decided to skate in a line with the strongest skaters holding onto the weaker ones, so we were all holding hands. I was in the middle of a girl and a boy, i wasn’t really comfortable holding hands with the boy so i just let him hold me with my hand like open, i was visibly uncomfortable and i felt awful the whole time but i didn’t want to be left out and everyone was refusing to switch places, so we were holding hands for a couple minutes and i felt uncomfortable the whole time. Now it’s 8 months later and i just remembered it happened and i want to tell my boyfriend so bad because i feel horrible about it and he should know but i don’t want him to think i had any intentions because i absolutely didn’t and i don’t want to screw this relationship up because i love him so much and i want it to work, how would you feel if your partner told you something like this happened and while ago? what should i do? Would you class this as cheating? Help!!
TL;DR a guy held my hand for about 5 minutes while a group of us were in a line ice skating (i was in between a male friend and a female friend) 8 months i ago (i was visibly uncomfortable, but he couldn’t stand up straight on the ice) and i feel awful about it, we are at 10months relationship now and i just remembered about it tonight. i want to tell my partner but im afraid ill lose him. would you consider this cheating? i had no intentions and i really didnt want to do it but nobody else would.
Comments
This is a complete nonissue, you’re overthinking things
This isn’t cheating at all, you were in an awkward group situation and didn’t want to be left out. You were uncomfortable, and that matters. If you tell your boyfriend, just explain it’s something that’s been on your mind… not a confession. You didn’t do anything wrong
hey, this is sounding like relationship OCD. I get it too, especially surrounding “accidental cheating”, but I’ve definitely gotten better at managing it. The guilt I have felt drives me crazy. Once, I walked to class with a male friend. He is literally just a friend, the conversation was innocent, absolutely nothing happened. Yet, I spent the rest of the afternoon throwing up from guilt. This is just one example of many many MANY instances for me.
Somethings that helped me:
In this situation, I assure you that you did nothing wrong. This sounds just like relationship OCD to me though. Maybe look more into it if you’d like! There are some subreddits that discuss it and might help you 🙂 Good luck!!