i was with my ex (20M) for a little over a year. we broke up about three months ago. emotionally, i’ve accepted that we weren’t right for each other. what i haven’t been able to move past is how his family completely cut me off like i never mattered at all.
when we were dating, they really made me feel included. his mom would text me, invite me to dinner, say stuff like i felt like part of the family. even his younger sister would ask to hang out sometimes. on my birthday they got me a little gift and wrote such a sweet card, and i remember thinking wow, they really like me.
but after we broke up? complete silence. i didn’t even get a “hope you’re okay.” they unfollowed me on everything. no goodbye, no acknowledgment, just like that, gone. the weirdest part is they still interact with his ex before me. they comment on her posts, still say “miss you” and things like that. it’s like i was the one girl who didn’t count.
i know technically they don’t owe me anything. but it still really hurts. i genuinely thought they liked me. now it just feels like i imagined it all. i’m not hoping to stay in their lives or anything, it’s more the feeling of being erased that’s messing with me.
has anyone else experienced something like this? i feel kind of ridiculous for caring but it’s been sitting heavy on my chest.
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I mean yeah, that’s a very common thing. You are no longer with him, so you are no longer a part of the family. I get it sucks, but why would they keep you around when you’re no longer with their family member?
Its probbably the best to be like that…. just move on.
Why would you still have any contact with your exs family? Sorry but I dont see the point there.
Your feelings are valid. U felt a connection with them and just removing/blocking you feels heavy.
But you also know that sending you messages or whatever would just be weird. So..
One year is just a blip on the radar for this family that has been together many, many years. It’s hard, but true. You’re not “in the family” anymore.
I was married for 22 yrs. The moment we separated, i never heard from her family again
I empathize with what you are going through and how it must hurt. His family clearly led you to believe they cared about you and that you mattered to them and then just… iced you out. I have experienced something similar and it’s really sad and hurtful. Maybe there is a takeaway lesson here like “be careful not to get emotionally invested in a partner’s family” or “be prepared to lose para-relationship connections if you break up” or something. Or maybe it’s just a group of people being shitty and not having the decency to even say “Hey OP we won’t be hanging out with you or following you on socials now that you guys are broken up, but we wish you the best and are glad you were part of our lives” or something like that.
Anyway. Solidarity and best wishes.