I 19M have been hanging out with this girl (19F) pretty regularly for a few months now. We’re both freshmen in college. We usually get lunch or dinner at least once a week, and we hang out a lot outside of that too. We hook up semi-regularly, but things have felt pretty casual so far.
Early on, I was seeing other people but ended those things after a bit. She’s mentioned before that she doesn’t really feel safe or comfortable hooking up with other people, and that her experience with me has been really positive—she’s said I’m sweet and kind, and it’s been nice to hear that. From what I can tell, I don’t think she’s seeing or talking to anyone else at this point either.
The thing is, I really like her. I think she likes me too, but we haven’t had a direct conversation about it. With about two months of school left, I’m starting to wonder what this is turning into. I’m from out of state, so summer would be a long-distance situation if we were to date, but I honestly think it could work.
I want to ask her where she sees this going and let her know I’d be open to a relationship if she is too—but if she prefers to keep it casual, I’d be okay with that. I’m just worried that bringing it up might freak her out or put pressure on things, and I really don’t want to mess up what we already have.
Any advice on how to navigate this conversation without making things weird or pushing too hard?
TLDR: Been casually seeing/hooking up with a girl for a few months. I really like her and think she feels the same. Want to ask where she sees this going and if she’d be open to a relationship, but I’m worried bringing it up might mess up what we already have. Looking for advice on how to handle it.
Comments
Just be real.
“I’ve had a lot of fun over the time we’ve spent together. So I was wondering if you’d like to make this official or if you would rather keep it casual? There’s no pressure, I just wanted to be on the same page and I am a-okay with either. I like being around you.” Would be just fine. Short. Sweet. Easy.
Honestly the best way to say it is in a casual way, that shows that you’d want to be with her but you wouldn’t be upset if she didnt feel the same way. I think she’s appreciate you letting her know that. Just mention that you’ve enjoyed the time you’ve spent with her and you like her, and were wondering if she still wants to keep it casual or if she would see you as more. Be upfront and honest because if she does genuinely like you, she won’t find it weird or uncomfortable. Then just say you’re wondering this now because summer is coming up and you’re leaving, and you’d rather clear it up now so there’s no confusion right before you go home. Make it clear you like her (you’re spending a lot of time together it seems so it wouldn’t be embarrassing) but also tell her it’s up to her and you won’t be offended otherwise.