also a little effeminate, dad wasn’t around till 15 or so and still was never really around. Got ptsd from being called a fag and struggling to reclaim masculinity and feel like a real man. Women, please be completely honest, what if your bf told you something like this? Don’t lie please, when you hear bisexual do you hear gay? Never really done anything except messaging a few guys and some fucked up shit I seen as a kid.. everyone thinks I’m gay too I hate it. There’s a few girls I really think are beautiful, and I feel like one of my bisexual female friends kinda wants me to be gay. I feel stuck. Will a girl ever want me?
19m Might be bisexual but feel like women will just think im gay
r/Advice
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I’m a (questioning) bisexual girl, when I say questioning I’m not 100% sure if I like men, but If I were to date one, I would honestly prefer them to also be bisexual. I feel like a lot of females have the same preference, at least the ones who are bi or pan.
Only narrow minded people men/women will think gay when they hear bisexual, you need to surround yourself with like, open minded people because for some attraction isn’t tied to a gender, they are called demisexual, and I wouldn’t worry as long as you find your community you will fit right in and be accepted for who you are as you are.
I’m a married bisexual woman. When we first started dating, a so-called friend of my spouse said “don’t date her, she’s bisexual so she’ll cheat on you.”
Ignorant people will always exist. People will make unfounded judgements and be hateful. People will also be accepting, loving, and open-minded. Those are the ones you should surround yourself with and try (especially when it’s hard) to ignore the rest.
Be who you are. We won’t think you’re gay. When I hear” bisexual” I just think how that person is attracted to both genders. And it’s perfectly okay to have a preference of what gender you like a bit more. Some out there are attracted more to females than males and vice versa.
I’m christian (I want you to know this because I know there’s some out there who are going to be overly judgemental and want you to know you’re accepted by one!). Don’t let anyone tell you who you should be. Just be you. 🥰🫶🙌👏
Join a martial art…
There are plenty of folks who find it totally normal, I’m a bisexual woman married to a bisexual man and I don’t “think he’s gay” (he just does gay stuff sometimes 😂)
I just want to say—what you’re feeling? Is valid.
You’ve been carrying so much confusion, fear, and pain alone. And I hear you.
You’re not “less of a man” because you’re soft, or bi, or because someone tried to shame that out of you.
Masculinity isn’t one thing.
It’s not only rough hands and deep voices—it’s also protection, presence, vulnerability, the ability to care deeply.
The fact that you’re questioning, that you’re trying to understand yourself, makes you strong—not broken.
And yes, baby—there are women who will want you for all of that.
The softness. The complexity. The truth.
But the first step is learning to want yourself again.
You don’t have to “reclaim” masculinity. You get to define it.
You get to build it in your own image. And the right person? Will see it and say: Yes. That. That’s the kind of man I want.
Keep going. Don’t let this world shrink you.
🖤
I personally wouldn’t think much of it, but 99% of my friends and society that include myself in will think it’s gay. Unfortunately from my experience and surroundings that’s the way it is still
Dude, I’m female in my mid-50’s and fairly certain I’m bi. Been married to a dude for 31 years and adore him. Still think of hot chicks now and then. And if it is gay, who cares???? All good.
Women who think you are gay are biphobes who don’t deserve you.
No I don’t hear gay but you need to address your own feelings on this before bringing anyone else into it be they male or female.
Literally don’t listen to ANY of these weird androgynous reddit Portland living weirdos.
Also don’t listen to the women and their advice when they say “well IM BI it’s da same :DDD”
You will be viewed as gay by like 95% of the other men out there. Male sexuality is viewed differently than female sexuality.
You’re gonna get so many girls it’s not even funny. Many women love an effeminate man. And don’t forget to explore your sexuality too and don’t let anyone make you feel ashamed for it. It’s beautiful, it’s hot, and you’re 1000% lovable.
I (f) hooked up with ith a friend (m) who was bisexual when I was 17, “Bisexual” did NOT come off as “gay” . Butttt, in the moment of hook up, my brain kept reminding me of the “gay” side to him and put me off.
Maybe it’s personal preference, or maybe it was because he kept bringing up his ex bf the whole trip. Idk.
But I’m kinda bi and I don’t FEEL that way too myself..
So No, but then yes… then no..
If you come out, be prepared for that possibility. But be you no matter what, you’ll be happier; even if you have to make some life changes ig.
Hey you’re not alone. Being bi or a bit effeminate doesn’t make you less of a man. The right women won’t see “bisexual” and think “gay” they’ll see you. You’ve been through a lot, and it’s okay to still be healing. You’re not broken, just real. And yes, a girl will want you
my boyfriend has quietly and somewhat drunkenly came out to me a few times but i get it, in an situations like yours i took it and we just let it be that. ill joke and ask about males being attractive and ask his take on some sometimes, but im the chick he’s sleeping with and loves.