LO’s first birthday party was this weekend, and my MIL was of course her usually JN self.
My parents offered to host the party as they have a much larger house than ours that’s better for entertaining, which pissed MIL off and caused her to complain for the last several weeks about how it wasn’t fair that they weren’t asked to host.
DH tried to make his parents feel included and told them that they were welcome to come early and help us set everything up, but instead they showed up an hour late. The second she walked in, she went straight to LO and tried to pull him out of his high chair. Didn’t even say hello to anyone – just barged in and immediately tried to snatch up my son. She tried to keep ahold of him the entire time they were there. If anyone else tried to play with him or hold him, she hovered around and would grab him from people whenever she wanted. It got to the point that, instead of socializing with the guests and enjoying the party, I was following her around to stop her from completely monopolizing LO. If she wasn’t holding him, she sat in a corner with FIL away from everyone else and refused to talk to anyone.
She got annoyed because LO was getting really tired about midway through the party and she wanted him to sleep on her but he wouldn’t. I took him from her and he fell asleep in my arms in about 5 minutes.
When it came time to sing happy birthday and do the smash cake, she practically shoved me out of the way to stand directly in front of him and take a million pictures. I barely got any good pictures because every time I tried to take them she would stand right in my way. She got mad that we wouldn’t let her hold the cake while we sang to him. She started crying when he was eating the cake. Literally doing anything and everything she could to make herself the center of attention.
She and FIL ended up leaving not long after the cake to go to a casino. They didn’t even stay to watch him open presents, but she texted me demanding that I send her a video of him opening their gift (I didn’t).
We still had a really great time celebrating his birthday with all our family and friends, but I’m just so sick of dealing with her. She has this constant need to make everything about her, and I hate the fact that she continues to act like she has some kind of ownership over my child.
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Other posts from /u/Valuable_Volume_7085:
The never-ending baby walker battle, 4 days ago
MIL called my son her child, 2 months ago
MIL making up reasons to try and come see LO, 3 months ago
MIL & doctors appointments, 3 months ago
Grandchildren > your own children apparently, 3 months ago
JNMIL & “alone time” with LO, 3 months ago
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Wow
My mom would have booted her right out the door. Holy yikes.
My mil did this at my kids first a few months ago. I gave my husband a look and he went over to his mom and said “hey mom, parties over here. She wants to enjoy her friends, not have you corner her in random areas of the house.” She cut it out. You have to be very direct with these women who have chronic main character syndrome
I say this with kindness OP, you are letting away with far too much. She makes a beeline for LO in his high chair? ‘MIL please leave him be’ She won’t leave him alone? ‘MIL leave him alone, it’s his birthday, he’s here to see everyone not just you’. She pushes you out of the way in photos? Insist on the photo being retaken with you front and centre not her.
OP, where is your husband when you’re wrangling MIL? It’s the job of both of you to be a united front and he left you high and dry.
But also you need to find your voice.
I sure hope she got everything she needed since it sounds like that was her last and ONLY chance to celebrate your little man on his birthday. From now on I would have one real birthday party and then just a little birthday get together with her and the baby, if you guys are feeling generous.
I’m glad you still have such a good attitude about it. Can’t say I’d be as magnanimous!