There’s a catch! You must always have a window open in the house. You can run around and alternate which window is open depending on where the seagull is heading, careful not to get it wrong though! PETA has said that you are also not able to put nets up or block your windows externally.
IF it enters your house, it will flap about in your face for the full 20 minutes until the time is up. The seagull is unkillable, though it can bleed and shed feathers. Be careful not to man handle it too much if it gets in as it will make a mess (and you’ll feel bad).
You are entitled to 28 days unpaid holiday, in which can email the seagull to advise on the dates. They will not attack the house on these dates so you can leave the house. If you are out of the house though having not booked leave, the seagull will enter your house abd knock everything over, shed feathers etc.
Would you take it?
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Copy of the original post in case of edits: There’s a catch! You must always have a window open in the house. You can run around and alternate which window is open depending on where the seagull is heading, careful not to get it wrong though! PETA has said that you are also not able to put nets up or block your windows externally.
IF it enters your house, it will flap about in your face for the full 20 minutes until the time is up. The seagull is unkillable, though it can bleed and shed feathers. Be careful not to man handle it too much if it gets in as it will make a mess (and you’ll feel bad).
You are entitled to 28 days unpaid holiday, in which can email the seagull to advise on the dates. They will not attack the house on these dates so you can leave the house. If you are out of the house though having not booked leave, the seagull will enter your house abd knock everything over, shed feathers etc.
Would you take it?
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Deal, the window in the house has to be open, but says nothing about the door out of the room the window is in, sure i’ll let a seagull come into the bathroom daily and flap around for 250 a day
Thanks
Yeah, I’ll take it I think. 20 minutes of work a day is a big improvement, but as long as Im careful to get back home in time if I’m out, I can stop the little shit.
For an extra ~100k a year, sure I’d build a small room around a window and leave it open. You never said the door to the rest of the house has to remain open.
No. Ìt would interfere with my kids sleeping.
Hell yeah, I’ll have a special room and some nice treats for the gull, gonna make friends if they’re interested
I designate one room the seagull room. I’ve got the perfect room, it’s a spare child’s bedroom. The window is open year round. I lay down a plastic drop cloth and change it every few days. I install a steel security door on the inside of the room, OP said that the seagull would attack the door, but not the rest of the room. I never have to work again.
Sure. Hey seagull that can’t leave a room for 20 minutes meet 2 cats that don’t get much stimulation because all the local birds aren’t that stupid. Plus you’re unkillable so the “fun” never ends…
That’s $95,630 a year. That’s a full time job. Designate a room in the house as the seagull room. Secure said room from the rest of the house and live your life. The 28 days of unpaid leave is unnecessary as you don’t have to be there to watch the seagull do it’s thing.
“you are also not able to put nets up or block your windows externally”
Blocking them internally it is, then. Either that, or I’ll just add a small storage room with a nice big window, where the door is permanently closed.
This is one of the more interesting hypotheticals I’ve read on here, great work OP. I agree with others though, I think the extra money offsets the annoyance of having a dedicated seagull room in my home.
My kitchen windows are casement windows which at least would present a minor challenge to the seagull, I hope.
I am curious if, when the twenty minutes are up, does the seagull just leave on its own or is it my responsibility to shoo it back out?
I honestly don’t think it’s sufficient money to chase and wrestle a big bird and get it out of the house every single night. I like animals and am kind of a wimp when it comes to capturing them; I alays thing they will get hurt or I’ll get bitten.
If it would leave on it its own? I say, yes! Some nights I would hang out by the window and maybe feed it snacks for the twenty minutes on others I might hire someone who is willing to deal with those twenty minutes. I feel like I could definitely find someone who is willing to do this.
I install a small window between my living room and kitchen. Open it, tax £209 a day.
There was no mention that it must be outside window 🙂
$95,000 a year to let a seagull into my house everyday? Easy yes
I’ll take it. The window had to be open but I have screens on my windows. Also, I have a window that opens from the bottom and angle outward.
Yes.
I’m turning our small laundry room into the Seagull Crap Here room. Small window, concrete floor, easy to hose down. Easy 200 quid.
I’ll even let him do it while I’m on vacation, as long as I still get paid.
As long as it doesn’t poke me in the coconut, or hit me in the neck with a hacky-sack, or poke my knees, I can live with a seagull room.
that is not enough money for me to endure that amount of aggravation every day. You need to come up considerably.
Yeah, I already have a basement bathroom with one of those super tiny windows. I’m not even sure an adult seagull can fit through but just in case I’ll line the floor with newspaper and remove everything from it.
Ok. I’ll leave the bathroom window open, and keep the door shut. Tile is much easier to clean than carpet.
with that kind of money i can always buy some birdseed and bribe the seagull into friendliness
Does this amount adjust for inflation? Sounds pretty good right now, not so sure about in 40 years.
Sure. In one of the rooms I’ll create a tiny window that it can fit through, which leads to a small bird house type of enclosure. I’ll even give him food and water each day. I’ll just leave that window open 24/7, why limit his access?
So every day for 20 minutes my cat will have entertainment. Got it.
For around 95k a year I’ll just use the same window everyday, close the door to that room and let him do whatever he wants in there.
20 minutes of my cats getting some seriously good exercise.
They LOVE birds. Love love love them.
I might have to adopt another just to add to the fray.
Welcome to Brighton, now where’s my £200?
I’ll just distract it with cheese puffs.
I’m all over that!
Have a couple windows that are barred from the inside (AC Unit, headboard, Fan) and technically open all the time already.
You didn’t say barred from the inside, so…
Why would I give a damn what PETA says? I’m having the window open, but blocked with a net.
If I really have to obey what they say, they didn’t say I couldn’t block the window internally. Sturdy hinges, board and fasteners would allow me to have an easily deployable and seagull-proof internal barricade.
I’d take the deal, but all my windows have an iron grill, so do I have to remove them or is it a loophole ?
This is almost 100,000k a year yes
We have screen in usa so the window is techincally open so i wont have to worry about it
One summer I had one that would come in my room every morning and I’d give him a pat then give him a biscuit.
It stopped when I realised he was dropping them on my car windscreen then pecking at them.
I have screens on my windows because bugs, do I need to remove them? Will the bird try and break them?
I guess I just let it in and let my cat enjoy.
Deal. I will build a custom 1″x1″ window on the side of my garage.
That’s over 95k USD a year.
For that kind of money I can have a special seagull proof room added to my house and always leave the window open.
Wellp, guess I have a Seagull Room now!
Oh that metal door there? Yeah that’s the seagul room. It’s like a bathroom but it only has a power washer connector and a massive drain inside. I sometimes leave some fish for the seagull in there. I keep it locked.
Unless I’m missing it in the post, can’t I just open the window and nail it in place at about half an inch? I don’t see anywhere where it states It has to be 100% open. The bird would just try for 20 minutes to open a hurricane proof window and then fly away.
It’s the second part of the first sentence, in the last paragraph that took me out!!
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Deal. I have a couple morally grey orange cats that need some entertainment.
Sure no problem. I can’t block the windows externally- but I can internally. We now have a dead seagull
I keep the windows open and put a large barrel in front of it and fill it full of seagul snacks. Thanks for the income buddy !
Deal, the window is open to the garage and it has one of those slash proof, reinforced screens over it. Good luck getting through that you stupid bird!
I will personally open her window in advance so she can get in her small but nice room. She will have fish waiting. The door is close to the rest of the house ofc.
I’d open the window to my the attic over my garage. Why do I have a functioning window to the attic over my garage? Apparently, the builder of my home built it that way for this hypothetical scenario.