i am a male, for reference.
i say;
- maybe i should look good, then i see ugly people in relationships
- maybe i should have a life and work and study, then i see losers and NEETs in relationships
- maybe i should be somehow nicer, then i see the most evil people to ever exist being in relationships
- maybe i should get money, then i see poor people in relationships
- maybe those people in relationships only have 1 of those bad traits and the rest of them are good, but then i see the most worthless and unlovable people with zero redeeming features to them being in relationships and being very much loved, even if they are not able to uphold that since they are non-functional in one way or another.
so if it is possible to find love without being anything remotely remarkable, why am i alone? what must i do? must i go out and ask random women out? whats the guide here? whats the way to follow? i have never wanted anything in my life more than a loving relationship and it hurts me so much to see how easy and possible it is for others, those who don’t even care in the slightest.
i keep trying to understand what makes people fall in love with each other but i fail and fail and fail, never being able to rationalize it. please help me here
and before you mention it, yes, i do need psychological help but that’s beside the point. i also see severely mentally ill people in relationships. maybe i shouldn’t enter anything while i am who i am currently, but just help me understand. i want to understand, i want it to click, i hate not being able to make sense of things.
TL;DR i need an explanation of how love works and how people find it