TL;DR – I don’t care that I am hurting my partners feelings by doing something I do not view as morally incorrect. I understand hurting your partners feelings in itself could be considered morally incorrect but I do not care and feel circumstances and intentions matter. Am I being narcissistic?
I deleted all messages and pictures dating back to highschool off of an ipad I have used since then. This includes messages between pretty much every ex, situationship, or hookup I have ever had.
In every past relationship I have never had my phone searched (that I know of) although they did either know my password or didn’t ask for it.
I have never been one to delete anything (no I do not keep anything of a sexual nature, that is the only exception). I don’t delete messages when I break up with someone and I don’t delete pictures. For all I care they can sit there forever, it was a part of my life whether I ended up feeling positively about it or not. I have pictures of a partner I had in middleschool…
I don’t go through past messages and I only pull up pictures if Im telling a friend a story.
My partner questioned this since the beginning because they do not understand it and have always been one to delete anything related to anyone who has hurt them period. I believe they delete things to avoid emotional pain and to avoid what could be a partners potential emotional pain should they stumble upon these messages or pictures.
Regardless, because I care about my partners feelings I deleted messages and pictures off my iphone and deleted the google photos app (but not the pictures in there).
I just used my iPad for the first time in the 4 months my partner and I have been together. I just now deleted all messages and pictures off of there.
Am I wrong for waiting this long? Is there something morally wrong with me not really caring to hurt someone’s feelings if I do not feel I am not doing anything morally incorrect? I understand in this situation that hurting your partners feelings or inflicting any pain onto your partner would be morally incorrect, but I feel my intentions matter. I don’t care if my partner gets their feelings hurt… I am not sentimental about these people anymore and it’s like keeping a scrapbook… am I deluding myself?
I wouldn’t want to see pics of my exs partner on their phone either but I do not use a partners phone unless necessary for whatever reason. I also wouldnt be upset with my partner should they be doing the same exact same thing. Again, I dont look through messages and only really look at pictures when Im telling a friend a story (for example my ex died in an accident, this is what they looked like).
My partner goes through my phone every so often while I am sleeping. I have never been one to do this kind of thing.
Am I just being unempathetic?