I (21F) have been with my boyfriend (24M) for a while now, and we recently got into a rough conversation about a girl he’s friends with that I’ve been uncomfortable about.
For context, this girl is part of a mutual group they’re in, and while he’s said there’s nothing going on and that they’re just friends, I can’t help but feel uneasy about her. Before, I saw she would text him things like “you never talk or hang out with me anymore,” and it sat weird with me. He told me he distanced himself from her, but I still notice small interactions (like follows, liking posts, etc.) that make me spiral and overthink.
I don’t want to control who he can and can’t be friends with, but it’s just this one girl from his friend group that I feel uneasy with. Usually, I don’t mind him having friends that are girls. I’ve already expressed how I feel, and I know if I bring it up again, it’ll feel like the same cycle.
I asked him to unfollow her on social media and he said he “can’t” because they’re in the same friend group, and it would make things super awkward for him. He said he only talks to her about once a week now, and only in a group setting.
At this point, I don’t know how to stop overthinking or how to move forward from this. I’m stuck between letting it go, trying to be okay with it, or wondering if this discomfort means something deeper I shouldn’t ignore. Other than this one thing, our relationship is perfect.
Also btw she recently got married but idk if that matters lol and he basically said he can’t because what kind of friend would he be if he stopped talking to her completely just cause I feel uncomfortable. (they been friends for a few years)
How do I work through these feelings without sabotaging the relationship or invalidating my own boundaries? Has anyone gone through something similar and found a healthy way to cope?
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What’s your concern? Do you not trust him?
I once too went through something similar. 22f ,25m, almost 7 years. I eventually just decided to trust him and stop putting myself through mental agony. It’s been really good since. He never did anything to betray my trust and reassured me any time I had a convo about his friend. She did end up shaving her head and was a lesbian though. That helped. Point still stands, if he’s given you no reason to stress, you need to decide to trust him and put some effort into moving forward from your uncomfortable feelings or decide if it’s a deal breaker for you and stop seeing him. You both don’t deserve to have this upset and negatively affect the relationship. Make a decision and stick with it with your whole being.
It might be an unpopular opinion but if someone is serious about you, then they absolutely should cut people out of their lives if it makes you uncomfortable. Since you’ve only been dating a little while it’s a bit early for that sort of thing but he should eventually do it. I cut off several females for my wife.
I am waiting for the ” you are insecure and controlling” comment.
Oh, Op Is a woman!
Then excuse me, nevermind!