My girlfriend and I have been together for almost a year now. At the start of our relationship, we had sex nearly daily and likely multiple times a day. Of course with time, this slowed down but now it’s stopped completely. When we try having sex she become dry and it gets uncomfortable fast. However, she often initiates sex despite usually wanting to stop. What bothers me is she owns two dildos which she uses and never has the same problem with. I feel like she’s not attracted to me because the uncommon denominator is the fact it’s me having sex with her. She also started taking anti anxiety meds which I’ve read lower libido but she still has a sex drive but struggles to enjoy having sex with me despite claiming she hasn’t lost attraction. Any thoughts on how we can fix our intimacy or what may be causing this?
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What foreplay are you engaging in to ensure adequate lubrication?
It could be more to do with pressure she’s placing on herself, she’s probably hyper aware of the issue which is why she’s having a problem. With dildos there’s no pressure, if she stops then she’s not disappointed anyone apart from maybe herself. Whereas with sex, if she keeps not managing to proceed it’s gonna mess with her head. If she’s initiating then it’s most likely not you. But talk to her, ask her if theres anything you can do. Buy lube (just make sure it’s compatible with the dildos just in case)!
I can tell you whats causing it the anti-anxiety meds.
So if the meds are working properly I guess you have to live with it.
If the meds are not working get different meds or dosis .
AND dont change the meds because you want her to enjoy sex. yes its important but not as important as her mental health
it’s literally fully the meds
couples counseling or a therapist can be really valuable. They can help navigate the physical, emotional, and psychological factors together without blame. This is a situation that can improve with patience, understanding, and guidance, but it’s important both of you approach it as a team rather than as a problem with one person.