Hi i am 19 M and she is 20 almost 21 F, although the title is just a snip bit of what was said or said, these arguemenrs with her have been going on for 4 days and have happened in the past before (not necessarily about sex). She has told me she has bpd and she alot of the time will self sabotage a lot of things. she has a lot of trauma with men lying to her and not treating her right in past relationships and seems to get scared because of the similarities i seem to have with those men, and it’s always around the idea of how they make her feel and what they say.
Her past relationship cheated on her and would say he would always be there for her while saying other women, and in the end he never stuck around with his promise and so she feels like she can never keep a guy or have anything that’s hers.
Now back to us, the past 3 days she’s been saying that she doesn’t think we are good to each other and that i’m just like all the other men, i haven’t done anything and what ends up trigger this reaction is misunderstands
ex: we were watching a movie with her friend and i accidentally touch her arm and quickly moved it away and we laughed about it, but then she thought i we were laughing at her and thinks i like her ex: she doesn’t like that i follow women and that i have 8 bodies and thinks every women i follow on instagram is someone ive tried or wanted before. ex: she always frames herself as a bad person when she isn’t and weaponizes that saying that maybe she’s unlovable and that i’ll never be able to love her.
Throughout these misunderstandings that i try to talk to her and reassure her about, in the end she just keeps on saying she hates me and i’m just like everyone else, but then the next day will apologize, but last night we tried to have sex, i really wanted to make her finish or make it worth her while since she had work in the morning and she initiated it, i unfortunately cummed and i tried to clean up and go again but she was just angry after that saying i didn’t consider her, and this in particular really hurt because i always want to make her feel good sexually and will always aim for wanting her to finish instead, so this being a deal breaker or the “straw that broke the camels back” sucks because she said a lot of rude things along the lines of, “i shouldn’t be with a women if i can’t make her finish” “never having sex with you again” “this is the last time i’ll be ever attracted to you emotionally or physically” “i knew this was wrong when i didn’t even want to kiss you back”
Sorry for this being very long but honestly i don’t know how to handle this or what to do, i love her and want to stay with her but i hate how last night came down to me not being able to hold it in and i feel like shit, more than any other day, i want to stay with her but idk how to move forward or how to come at this?
i didn’t mention but idk if it’s relevant but she has bpd and has alot of mood swings, she can go from hating to loving me really quick and idk if the things she says she means it or what to think