I’m 22F and I’ve slept with over 20 men. mostly older, in their 30s and 50s. None of it was transactional, no strings attached, just raw chemistry and physical desire. For a while, it felt empowering. like I was fully in control of my body and my pleasure. I craved the attention, the intensity, the feeling of being wanted. And I won’t lie, the thrill of it all was addictive in the best way. But lately, that same thrill has started to feel a little… empty.
I’ve started asking myself: am I really doing this for fun, or am I chasing something deeper without realizing it? Sometimes I feel amazing after, but other times I feel hollow like I’m trying to fill a space that never stays full. I keep going back for more: more passion, more intimacy, more validation. It’s like the excitement never lasts, and I’m always looking for the next high. I’m starting to wonder if I’m addicted. like not just to the sex, but to the feeling of being wanted, even if it’s just temporary.
I’m not ashamed of my experiences, but I am confused. Is this just part of being young and exploring, or is there something I’m avoiding emotionally? I don’t want to keep using sex as a distraction.
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How are these interactions honestly originating? Are these guys genuinely smooth with it or just … weird? I can’t imagine the cringiness of approaching someone your age and just spewing bullshit that everyone can see right through. What’s that like? Genuinely curious
It’s the easy dopamine you’re looking for, and its probably being used to fill a hole. I feel like if you depend so much on others for this quick dopamine you will spiral down a path that will leave you feeling even more alone.
Have fun, but use condoms.
Remember you can pay for an abortion, but you can’t get rid of some STDs.
Did chatgpt write this?
If sex is pretty amazing now, wait until you do it with someone you actually care about… Quality over quantity.
(Not suggesting romance, necessarily. Instead, try sleeping with close friends. FWBs)
You might want to get tested first of all…. Sounds like there may be some insecurity within yourself? No amount of sex will ever fill a void you feel. It’s a bandaid for something deeper.
Sounds very familiar to someone I know.
We were best friends for over 3 yeare, had great fun together.
She probably had well over 50 guys by the time she was 23. Calmed down now. But it was a mixture of things that led to it, I made sure it was safe and sane.
Trauma, the sense of being wanted like you stated, and she just really liked it. And if you’re safe there is nothing wrong with that.
But since you’re now starting to feel weird and empty afterwards, it might be time to do some therapy. Hyper sexuality usually has a cause.
Try and Take a break from the thrill and experiment more on the side of seeing if it’s more of the attention,intensity and feeling of being wanted try dating maybe you feel hollow after cuz you crave more find a partner that you can have thrilling sex with
Nobody can answer this for you, certainly not a bunch of internet strangers. But there are places you can go to unpack it. SLAA is a 12 step program where you can hear people who have identified they have a problem. The fact is, you don’t have a problem, but you do have questions and it seems you want to unpack some of these feelings. So therapy and/or SLAA might be a good place to start. As you said, there’s nothing to be ashamed of and please don’t let anyone try to make you feel that. But there are resources to help understand and contextualize your experience so you can have the experiences you choose and ensure you’re not inadvertently emotionally hurting yourself. Good luck!
It’s not a bad thing in any way, but I’d suggest you slow it down if it starts to take a toll on your mental stability.
You already been ran through. Gross af
Get therapist and talk it out.
Here is an unpopular opinion.. will probably be downvoted.. but i dont care and i will never be ashamed to put it in light
It’s powerful that you’re being honest with yourself.. many people never stop long enough to ask why they keep chasing the next thrill. What you’re describing goes deeper than just choices, it’s a reflection of how our flesh is wired.. it always craves more, but never finds lasting peace. That’s not just your experience, it’s universal.
You can look at celebrities who seemed to have it all: Robin Williams brought joy to millions, yet battled deep depression. Whitney Houston had fame and talent beyond measure, but drugs consumed her. Even someone like Elvis Presley, adored by generations, died seeking peace he never found through fame or pleasure.
Business moguls and billionaires sometimes fall the same way. Think of Bernie Madoff who he built an empire only to destroy countless lives, including his own, chasing more money. Or tech geniuses who spiral into scandals, sabotage their own success, or turn to crime… not out of need, but because their souls remain restless.
This isn’t just about fame or wealth. Athletes, influencers, politicians, and even ordinary people can have everything externally, but still feel empty inside. That’s because no matter what the flesh gets (sex, power, attention, success)it’s never enough. The hunger never stops, because the flesh was never meant to satisfy the soul.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28)
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” (John 14:27)
“Whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst.” (John 4:14)
The truth is, our flesh cannot find peace. Lasting peace only comes from the Spirit of God. He’s not here to shame you. He’s here to heal you, to love you, and to lead you into something real and eternal.
I encourage you: pick up a Bible. Start in the Gospels Matthew, Mark, Luke, or John. Seek Jesus not as an idea, but as a person who is alive and deeply in love with your soul. Give Him the wheel of your life. Let Him fill the space nothing else ever could. He’s waiting and His peace truly does satisfy.
May as well make money off it, or at least gifts. Just get tested regularly
You’re not addicted to sex.
You’re addicted to feeling chosen
That’s not a flaw – it’s a wound. One most people carry but don’t name. Because when someone wants your body, even for a moment, it feels like proof that you exist. That you’re magnetic. That you’re real. Especially if, somewhere along the line, no one taught you how to feel that without being touched.
Sex can be joy. It can be wild, raw, freeing. But when it starts to feel like hunger with no bottom, it’s usually not your body doing the reaching. It’s your heart. Your silence. Your ache to be, understood. Not just unzipped.
The men may be older, but that doesn’t make them wiser.
And the power you felt was real. But power isn’t always peace.
And the question you’re asking now? That’s not confusion. That’s evolution.
You’re not broken. You’re just arriving here through 20 lived experiences. – of lack. It wasn’t good enough for you, and it’s wonderful that you’re recognising this.
And when you do finally let someone in – not just inside physically – but mentally, spiritually, whole-y – you’ll know. Because the thrill won’t burn out.
It’ll burn steady.
And you won’t feel hollow afterward.
You’ll feel whole and held. And safe to love. Of course, it starts with loving yourself first – and thats a hell of a journey too.
Sincerely
Mrs Universe – took the lead on this one.
– Mr Universe hopes you find you own Universe in someone one day too.
In your adult life that’s 5 a year. Anyone judging can fuck off. I mean if it was 5 a week or even 5 a month yea that may be addictive behavior
But girl you’re 22!
If you immediately know that candle light is fire then the meal was cooked a long time ago.
Well step 1 is admitting you have a problem so that’s a start
You are just giving up to your animal instinct and its not aligning with your higher self/energy I think its about time you take a step back and think deeply about life. It might also means coming to some painful terms with yourself and I would say be focused with your energy!!!!
Therapy?
Sounds like manic episodes to me