Fair warning this is gonna be a long post my grammar sucks and I don’t use punctuation much 🤷🏼♀️ So me and my stepdad’s (not blood related have dna results to confirm) nephew my technical cousin by marriage (not related!) both moved to a new town all on the same property early 2023 about April at first my parents (bio mom 🙄 and step dad) plus my grandparents (stepdads parents) were constantly trying to get me and my cousin (we’ll call him t) to hangout and go make friends together because we are around the same age T was 24 at the time and I was 20 we had very little things in common and hadn’t spent time together since I was prepubescent and he was very antisocial but we started to hangout with each other going to the local races and bars just hanging out we constantly hung out over the summer of 23 then September happened and our cousin who was 21yo at the time (T’s bio cousin my cousin by marriage) got into an accident and passed away at this point I knew I liked T as more then my “cousin” and to be honest I did not have pure intentions to start (I was sexually attracted to him not really wanting a relationship though) but I kept my distance due to the “family tie” up until this point we had then we had been tasked with watching our aunts house and dogs while she was dealing with all of this stuff with her son who just passed and while we were there I had gotten T to open up to me and he said he liked me more then what we technically were and all I could do was spell “ditto” back to him bc once again my intentions at first were just lustful well we mostly just talked and worked on my truck during the week we were at our aunts house and then when we got back we ended up sleeping together and then he moved in with me and everybody was happy we were “together during this tough time” and as 2023 faded into 2024 I fell in love with him but the thought of him being my “cousin” gave me the ick feeling so we kept it a secret from everyone except my close friends one of the two still has no idea he’s my cousin technically then mid 24 rolls around and my mom (who’s a prescription drug addict narcissistic and abusive sorry not sorry I hate her) started throwing shade at us for getting so close and told us that we’d “wreck the family” “tear it apart” etc if we were ever do anything with each other but at that point we had and didn’t care what she thought anyway we continued to grow and wanna be together and basically did just never confirmed or denied anything to do with us “being together” now fast forward to January of 2025 I got pregnant and at this point we were planning our wedding and everything couples do but we decided that we were gonna keep this a secret bc I’ve had multiple miscarriages in my past and we didn’t want anyone to find out until we knew this was really happening we went to drs appointments together spent all our free time together so it was pretty obvious that we were together but we still never confirmed or denied anything to anyone well two weeks before Mother’s Day comes around at this point we were fully aware of the pregnancy knew it was sticking and that it was a boy we decided we were going to tell his immediate family his mom and two sisters (my aunt and cousins by marriage) about the baby now we just put a prank lottery ticket that said “were having a baby” on the winner prize portion at first it went over there heads and they were confused about it then they got it and were asking the obvious questions like are you serious and all that good stuff over all they took it great no hate just love and joy for the new baby now my mom still doesn’t know and probably won’t know until the baby is born bc with my daughter she told me to “ get an abortion before my dad found out” I didn’t btw but she has on many occasions made jabs at me saying I’ll never love T as much as he would love me and all the other stuff I’ve previously said and while I do love this man I’m scared of what my mother will do when she finds out we can’t reasonably move away from here without accepting that we won’t get a house (we can’t afford to rent anywhere and save for a house) my step dad has said on multiple occasions I’m not going anywhere and my moms just stupid so I’m not afraid of getting kicked out more or less afraid of my stepdads reaction to the news now I LOOK pregnant now though and we are getting closer to our baby being here and while I’m so excited I’m terrified of something happening idk necessarily asking for but any advice is welcomed please be nice I’m very pregnant and hormonal and honestly I need to know some neutral advice from people like how would you react or what I should do to mitigate fallout idk I’m scared
TL:DR
In 2023, I moved to a new town with my stepdad’s nephew (not blood-related — DNA confirmed), who’s technically my cousin by marriage. We got close after a family tragedy, started a secret relationship, and fell in love. By early 2025, I got pregnant. We kept it quiet at first due to past miscarriages but eventually told his immediate family — they were happy and supportive.
My mom doesn’t know yet. She’s emotionally abusive, previously told me to get an abortion, and constantly throws shade at our closeness. We can’t afford to move out, and while my stepdad seems chill, I’m nervous about how everything will play out once they find out I’m pregnant and who the father is. I’m excited but scared — just looking for honest, kind advice on how to handle the fallout.