[22F] struggling with relationship due to boyfriend [25M] and his family’s bond with his exwife

r/

Hi,

TL;DR, Had a perfect long distance but started finding old stuff while living together related to his relationship with his old wife. I love him but I question my worth every single day. Idk what to do.

I love my boyfriend. We have been together since the November of 2022, living together since August of 2023. I am 100% loyal to him, even cut off all my male friends from school for him to be secure.

The problems started when we started living together. I started finding how close he and his family were to his exwife. I have started questioning my self worth. I hate everything, myself the most. Some examples of things are:

  1. Found a silver bracelet with his and her name. He was saving it even after being with me for over 1.5 years. PS: We don’t have any jewellery together and he’s the kind who won’t wear my name ever.

  2. I caught him texting her on her birthday and then he lied to me about it, even swore on my life. He apologised about it but I can’t get over it. Why after years of living with me?

  3. His family would send her soo many gifts. I found pictures, Idk how old they are.

  4. His mother had her on her socials and I’m sure they still talk to her and her family.

  5. His sister told me how close she was to everyone.

  6. He posted her so much, everyday. He posted me once since 2022 and later said he shouldn’t have. “He’s just not that kind”. He had everything w her name like email address, pinterest account- everything I would wish but won’t ever get even after asking.

  7. He has a harddrive of pictures and memories with her. It has albums titled like “honeymoon”.

  8. She told him to drop school once and he dropped from undergrad just before graduating. And I am not a part of any decisions- not even insurance.

I feel so hurt and sad all the time. I cry everyday. I question “why me”? He said it’s all over and helps me in stuff. He is a good person but I’m scared. It seems to never get over. Idk if it’s a me problem. Any suggestions on how to deal with this situation?