The question: should I wait to have sex until I find a guy I think I might spend the rest of my life with or just hookup with a random guy (that I’ve gotten to know a little bit at least)?
So … I’m 22F, a virgin just looking for opinions/advice I guess…
Why i’m a virgin: I’d say it’s because of a mixture of things for me honestly – bad/abusive childhood (have a hard time trusting men… or people in general now), super strict parents, did online school for my highschool years (less opportunity to actually meet people, etc), super bad anxiety (makes it a struggle to actually get myself to go on dates, etc), and now in recent years even a bit of agoraphobia that I’m working on … plus other random little things… To add, at one point I wanted to wait until marriage – now I’m not even sure I ever want to get married anyways 😅.
Now, I’m 22 as mentioned and confused on what I want really… do you think I should wait until I find a guy that I’m really into and that I think I could spend the rest of my life with? or should I just hookup with a random guy essentially (obviously still a guy that I get to know more though.)…. Or what advice would you have for me?
Also just to add more info: I have talked to many people like on dating apps, etc but never had a “actual” relationship or anything. I’m also not super eager to lose my virginity and I’m not at all embarrassed about it necessarily.
• ❤️ Bonus question: Is it weird to tell a guy I’m talking to pretty early on that I’m a virgin? Because I usually do just so they’re aware and so we both don’t waste time chatting if that is something that bothers them (me being a virgin) … but not sure if that’s a weird thing to say early on?
Thanks in advance :), Feel free to ask further questions if needed.
Comments
There’s no universal right or wrong answer here.
I once dated a girl who had only had sex with one other person. She took it very seriously. That was fine. We went out on a few dates and I decided that we weren’t a good match. She said she was hoping I’d be her second but I’m glad we didn’t because of her original stance. Interestingly we went to lunch months later and she ended up sleeping with someone else soon after and realized she wanted to not make it so special anymore and was less stressed about dating in general.
Anyway. Not sure if this helped but whatever you decide and are good with is right for you.
Imo, don’t rush into anything just because of societal pressure or something. Wait for a guy who makes you feel safe and respected, virgin or not. Sex is more enjoyable when you’re with someone you trust deeply.
And as for the bonus Q, naah, it’s not weird. It’s better to be upfront so you filter out the jerks right off the bat.
honestly do what feels right for you. this is something only you can answer for yourself. it will be a moment that you look back on for the rest of your life, do you want that to be a positive experience with someone you care about? as for telling the guy I would be open about it, you dont want to have the guy go out for a first or second date thinking “ok better buy condoms, tonight is the night”, he should be more patient with you and form a real relationship. ultimately its whatever you are comfortable with and happy with at the end of the day.
You may aswell now
Sex is a regular part of dating. If you start dating someone than go for it. As long as you are comfortable and happy with your choice. I don’t think you have to really think about it so much.
When your dating someone, things will eventually heat up and unless your saving yourself for marriage than I don’t see any reason to hold yourself back.
Also, you most likely have to date someone for atleast for a few months to figure out if it’s someone you can build a future with. Often, sex kinda happens before that point unless you’re intentional about not engaging in sexual activity. It’s hard to know who you’ll spend the rest of your life with. On top of that people get together but they also break up.
I am 25F and while I lost my virginity back in high school and I totally think sex is part of healthy dating I’m not too into hook up culture but that’s just my personal preference. Friends of mine have had STD’s (curable and non curable). I am married but if I was single I wouldn’t go for someone with a massive body count or someone who is looking to sleep with anyone and everyone. They are a lot of guys like this on dating apps. I guess what I am trying to say is be selective about who you get with and just let things flow naturally. Sex kinda happenes naturally when you’re dating.
The only other thing I would add is, protect yourself from STI’s and pregnancy. Have sex if you want to and not for any other reason. Make sure you’re 100% comfortable with your decision. Apart from that, I wouldn’t overthink things. Take care.
I’m the same I’m 21 and a super virgin. I’m actually so close to just popping my stuff out there just to experience it but I’m also waiting till marriage ToT. As a daughter of Christ I’m still going to wait till marriage
I’m happy that I’m not alone ToT. I love thinking it’s cause it’s reserved for the right guy that would treat you right.
Same advice for anyone of any gender live your life you will soon run into some you connect with and want to do those things it’s unlikely it will be your forever person and that’s ok but if you go anywhere seek out a casual encounter you will probably be unsatisfied emotionally also if you hold off untill you are married you will also probably be unhappy.
Just don’t focus on it and do what you enjoy you will run into someone