I’ve known my boyfriend for years — we were coworkers who always got along. At the time, we were both in relationships, so I never thought of him in that way, but I always thought he was kind and handsome.
Fast forward: we were both single, started talking, and began dating immediately. Things moved fast — we’ve been officially together for over 8 months, I’m pregnant, and we live together. He’s had relationships before me, including one with “MK,” who he dated for just over 2 years and broke up with in mid‑2022.
Here’s where my issue comes in: his immediate family still wishes her happy birthday, likes all her posts, and even shares them. I know I can be insecure, but this feels disrespectful, especially since I’m carrying his child.
How can I bring this up in a way that’s productive and not just emotional?
TL;DR: Been with my boyfriend 8 months, pregnant, and living together. His family still publicly interacts with his ex of 2 years. It makes me feel disrespected — how do I address it without it turning into a fight?
Comments
By not addressing it honestly, you can’t control what his family does.
My mom still talked to my ex’s dad for years. Who cares.
girl, families take forever to catch up emotionally, especially if they actually liked the ex. It doesn’t always mean they don’t like you they’re just stuck on what’s familiar. Best thing? Talk to your man calmly first, let him handle his family, cause if you confront them it’s gonna feel way messier
Sorry I’m too speechless at 8 months, pregnant and moved in together… probably if you’d actually taken your time you could actually find out whether his family are just genuinely friends with the ex or are being toxic AF but its probably largely moot point now whatever reason they’re doing it your stuck with it now
You can’t control what his family does. Them liking her doesn’t mean they don’t like you and it isn’t an indicator of how serious your relationship is or isn’t. If you bring this up you’re only going to ensure you never have a good relationship with them. Can you not just mute them or something, so you don’t have to see it?
I imagine wanting their approval is pretty important considering how quickly you’ve moved but trust me, trying to govern their behaviour isn’t the way to do it. If you’re happy with your boyfriend and they otherwise treat you well you have to find a way past this.
By dealing with it internally – because this is a you problem. It’s okay to have an emotional response to something that isn’t rational and you can’t control. What isn’t okay is taking your emotional response and making other people responsible for your feelings. You can’t address it without it turning into a fight because the issue is internal.
You just leave it alone. It’s not your business. You can go ahead and mute her posts and theirs too if it bothers you.
Don’t say anything. Respect is earned over time and you literally just got here. You’ve already put yourself at a disadvantage by jumping into this recklessly, don’t also pick a fight with the people you’re going to be connected to for the rest of your life.
Is it possible they aren’t a fan of how fast you and he progressed in your relationship? You’ve been together only 8 months and you’re already cohabitating and pregnant.
It’s not shocking that they’re friendlier/closer with someone they’ve known 4 years (and change) vs someone they’ve known for (most likely LESS than) 8 months, is it?
It’s hard when family gets close to a partner and that partner ends up no longer being ‘part of the family’.
It’s hard for the family. It’s hard for the ex. It’s hard for the new partner.
It’s even harder if the new partner gets fast tracked to a lifetime tie.
This is messy, try to step back and handle it privately until things are more stable.