This is the situation I’m in:
I (23M) have been in a relationship with my girlfriend (22F) for almost 3 years. She’s an incredibly loyal and supportive partner who has stood by me through some of my darkest periods—academic burnout, depression, and other personal issues. But over the last several months, I’ve started to feel emotionally distant and overwhelmed by the relationship. There’s no cheating, no major betrayal, but we’ve been stuck in a cycle of love, conflict, reconciliation, and repeat.
Earlier on, I used to like other girls’ photos on social media without thinking it was a big deal. She never communicated how much it hurt her until it had been building for months. Now she struggles a lot with insecurity. She calls or texts me frequently throughout the day (4–5+ times), often asks for reassurance, and checks in about whether I find other women attractive. I’ve asked for space while I study and try to manage my mental health, but I still feel emotionally drained and like I’m constantly being pulled away from myself.
There’s also family pressure—her mom doesn’t support the relationship largely due to my background (I’m Filipino), which adds even more tension.
These are the people involved:
Me (23M) and my girlfriend (22F). We’ve been together for nearly 3 years. No infidelity. Ongoing emotional support but increasing conflict, insecurity, and confusion from both sides.
This is the outcome that I want:
I want clarity. I want to understand whether this relationship still has room to grow in a healthy way—or if it’s time to let go, kindly and honestly. I care deeply for her, but I don’t know if love is enough when there’s this much confusion, exhaustion, and emotional imbalance.
What should I do to get that outcome?
What steps can I take to honestly evaluate this relationship and decide whether to continue or end it? If you’ve been in a long-term relationship where both people still cared but were emotionally drained, what helped you find clarity?
TL;DR:
23M in a 3-year relationship with 22F. She’s been deeply loving and supportive, but the relationship is now emotionally exhausting—frequent reassurance-seeking, insecurity, and external stress from her family. I’m also dealing with depression and addiction. I want clarity: is there a way to rebuild this, or is it time to step away?