English is my third language so I’m not sure if it’s called mannerisms or something else. My fiancé is really sweet and he’s the first boyfriend I feel truly safe with. Because of tradition, it took a long time before he met my family, so I never really saw how he acts around other people. We’ve obviously been to many restaurants together and he met my roommate before, and I didn’t notice these things back then. But lately, at family gatherings, I’ve noticed some things that turn me off. For example, he sits in a weird way where he places his foot on his other foot and tilts them together, which I’ve never seen anyone do. He shakes his legs constantly, even when standing, and sometimes he stumbles over words. When I see him standing shaking his legs like that, I think to myself “wtf is he doing” and I feel a bit embarrassed, especially around my family. I get the urge to tell him to stop, but I don’t want to hurt his feelings. Are these just his mannerisms or his body language, and is it rude if I bring it up? It honestly turns me off when he acts like that, and I’m not sure how to deal with these feelings.
TL;DR: My (24F) fiancé (27M) is really sweet and I feel safe with him, but I’ve recently noticed some awkward mannerisms like shaking his legs a lot, sitting weirdly, and stumbling on words. It turns me off and makes me feel embarrassed in front of my family. I’m not sure if it’s rude to bring it up or if I should just accept it.
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It could be that he’s just nervous in settings like that, so his body acts like that. It is best to talk about stuff like that with him, especially if you’re planning to spend the rest of your life with him. If you can’t be open and honest with your fiance…..should they really be your fiancé in the first place?
It sounds like he is nervous and that you are way to high maintenance for someone like him, god forbid he sit with his legs bent? Come on now. Imagine someone talking about you like this
Anxiety.
Lots of people bounce their legs and stumble over words when they are nervous.
Is it your family? Is he naturally an introvert?
“Hey babe, you sit/stand weird and it turns me off.”
Yes, that would be rude. Jesus.
Everyone has their own way of doing things like these habits and routines. There is nothing wrong cause everyone has them. I bet your fiancé can name several that you realize you didn’t have. If you’re going to marry him, then you’re going to have to get used to them. People just can’t stop these things.
You sound incredibly rude and like you don’t even like this man. You also think he’s gay and are bored of him. Do him a favour and leave him alone to find someone who likes him.
You sound too enmeshed with your family. Like, it sounds like you put so much stake in what your family thinks and wanting your fiancé to impress them, that you’re being hypercritical of someone you loved before you introduced him to your family.