My boyfriend (24M) and I (22F) have only been together for a little over a month, but we’ve known each other for about a year and been involved for about 5 months.
Our relationship moved really fast in beginning- we were exclusive from the first day we slept together, we said we love each other a week into officially dating, and he asked me to move in with him a few weeks ago (our current leases are up on the same day).
At first, I thought it was risky but was down to give it a try. Since then, we’ve had a few fights that made me more reluctant to move in. One day, we sat down, talked and agreed that moving in together wasn’t a good idea and that we should try to see each other less often so that we can spend time doing our own things with friends. At the time it felt like a great, mutual decision.
The other day, my boyfriend asked me again about moving in together. I told him that I still felt the same way as before. He got pretty offended by that, and he said that he doesn’t see the point of being together in the future if i wouldn’t be willing to move forward with that. We left the conversation kind of unfinished.
Yesterday, I saw him again, and I asked him if he had thought about an apartment yet. He gave me a very vague answer about looking for his own studio. Later that night, I accidentally saw a text message between him and a good friend. His friend asked if I had changed my mind about us moving in together, and his response was “No. I should probably break up with her. It’s just hard.”
Even though it’s been such a short time, I feel such a strong attachment to him and don’t want to jump the gun on breaking up. I tried to explain that I think that moving in would cause more relationship problems and worst case could leave both of us screwed- one of us with an expensive apartment and the other without a place to stay. He accused me of being overly negative (which I am).
I’ve noticed that he’s detached from seeing a future with me in the way he talks. He started saying “my wife and kids…” versus “you and our kids…” I never thought I liked that type of talk before but hearing the change is hurtful.
Should I bring up the message I read to him? Or bring up us breaking up in general?
TL;DR I’m not ready to move in with 24M boyfriend, and he sees that as a lack of future between us. He told his friend that he should probably break with up me, and I want to know if there’s a chance at fixing our relationship.