He hid and lied about cocaine use for a year. Now I’m having anxiety about what else he could be lying about. I have been grilling him a bit asking him a lot of questions and sharing my anxious fears. I haven’t accused but I told him a fear he could be hiding something like cheating from me. Idk why it’s bothering me all of a sudden. But it’s gotten stuck in my head. It’s also because his libido is lower than mine so I get anxious he’s looking else where. I shared this with him today and he blew up. said “I have to share snaps, can I be alone ever without an issue now? I didn’t do anything wrong.” But I tried to explain how the hiding the drugs makes me question a lot of things AIO
TL;DR: bf lied about cocaine use now he’s mad I get anxious he is lying about other things.
Comments
What does I have to share snaps mean?
But yes it’s both of you. How did things go down with the cocaine? Did he apologize? Was he using a lot? Did he stop only because of you?
Yeah, so this is very natural & normal response when somebody breaks your trust.
The fact that he is throwing a fit over your having a natural reaction to being deeply lied to and hurt is saying a lot about how little he cares to do the repairs.
Of course you don’t trust him. That’s what happens when your partner lies to you about big important things. It’s natural to be asking questions and talking about your anxiety, because he has shown that he is not worthy of a default baseline of trust. His reaction is a sign that he is not sorry he broke your trust, he just doesn’t want to have to be accountable to you for anything (probably because he is also hiding other things). This is why when somebody lies to you about something big for a long time, the right move is often just to break up and find somebody else. Especially when there is a decade age gap in the mix.