So I (27F) am still a virgin, and it never really bothered me until now. Its not about looks, I’ve been told I’m pretty and people seem to be surprised when I tell them I’ve never had a boyfriend before. I fantasize a lot about having a bf since I was little, but when I grew up I wasn’t really considered pretty until a few years ago. I think that growing up being weird made my confidence go down the drain and it took years to feel somewhat pretty, and even now I sometimes feel like I’m just beautiful when I use makeup.
I had opportunities to lose my virginity over the years, but there is something really scary about it and I don’t really know what it is. I think maybe its the fear of the pain, or maybe I’m not really comfortable with showing my body. I don’t think I’m asexual either, I thought about it and it doesn’t seem right. I just think I wanted it to be with someone special, and then I think I’ve waited for too long and its weird. Like, is it unattractive to be a virgin woman at 27? Some people think it isn’t, but when I talk to people irl about it it seems like its a turn off.
I know virginity isn’t really important, I just think I have an irrational fear of losing it to someone that will make fun of me or that wouldn’t care about me when we finish. I’m a romantic, I read a lot of romance and I think it I romantize a lot more than I should.
Right now there’s no one I’m talking to, it’s just something I’ve been thinking about a lot recently and I need some other people’s view on this situation.
Comments
It’s totally cool to go at your own speed man, we all do things at different times, and feel comfortable in different situations! There’s nothing at all wrong with that.
To answer your question though absolutely not, as M33, I’d certainly not find it ‘unattractive’ if I was dating someone and found out they were a virgin.
I lost mine at 26(M) last year.
While I did try to date people before, I never let them get close to me and sabotaged any chance it got me feeling strongly towards them because I was not ready to face these feelings.
I am in therapy since sept of last year and it helped talking it through although the most helpful thing was to just feel any emotion I had head on and still go through with it instead of trying to block them off.
I had started dating someone and needed to trust in myself that I do deserve this feeling of being liked and liking them.
She was very welcoming to the surprise of me being a virgin and eased my way into sex.
We didn’t even have penetrative sex the first time we were intimate.
All I’m trying to say is that my fear of it all was bigger then the actual thing and it prevented more than it was trying to shield 🙂
I’m 22M and a virgin. Like you said i’ve had my opportunities to lose it mant times i’ve even been offered it and still said no and most my relationships have been long distance and we never could meet(my last one ended after 2.5 years just as i had saved enough to go and got some extra money from my sister’s husband so i could even go twice) but long story short i feel like it’s okay to stay a virgin as long as it doesnt feel right to have sex. Sex doesnt habe to be casual for everyone. Like for me i thpight i’d fuck any pretty girl i could when i got into college but no i’d flirt and if they made a move i’d distance myself and go away from it. Which made me realize i wanted to have someone i really cared abt at least for my first time so i’ll do it when i have that and that’s okay people value different things and if anything your first boyfriend should be really happy knowing he’s your first bc that also would feel special. I dont think anyone’s gonna judge esp since you’re a girl if you were a guy i’d say most people would internally judge and think you cant date but girls are different so they’d know you just chose not to. Hope this helps!! Dont let yourself feel bad abt it bc there’s nothing wrong w it!!
I think you should trust yourself and be confident about your self that it is not just about look or virginity it is all about your inner soul you need to be open to meet people and trust in yourself that you want to be with someone
There is no hard and fast rule about when you’re suppose to lose your virginity, no matter what society may say. It should be something you do when you’re ready for it and with someone you hopefully fancy enough and trust enough to lose it to.
Better to hold it til the right moment than to throw it away and cringe every time you reflect on it, imo :’3 (cribging now)