27F & 28M — He emotionally pulled away, says he has no bandwidth for emotional talks. What actually makes men reconnect?

I’m 27F, my boyfriend is 28M, and we’ve been together 4.5 years. We live together.
He’s always had occasional “weird moods” where he gets withdrawn, stops calling me babe, doesn’t engage much, and seems emotionally off. It’s been a pattern throughout our relationship — sometimes more, sometimes less — but it hits me hard because I have an anxious attachment style. I find it difficult to just leave him alone when he’s like this, even if I know I should.

Last week I was feeling overwhelmed. I cried and told him I felt sad because of things going on in my family (like my mom being alone on her birthday, and my aunt having an accident). I also told him he’d been more impatient and snappy lately. In that emotional state, I said, “you’re lucky your dad calls you,” not realizing how sensitive that topic is for him.

He’s building a business that heavily depends on his dad, who’s very unpredictable. That comment clearly hit a nerve. Since then, he’s been cold and distant. He told me I’m selfish and said he doesn’t want emotional talks that “feel like therapy.”

That wasn’t a one-off — even before the crying, he had been short-tempered and cranky with me for days. And now, I’ve been trying to respect his request for space. I told him, “I won’t pester you for emotional talks or to hang out with me. You can have all the space.” He said “okay babe.”

He did soften later that night — told me he loved me, asked me to lay on his chest, and offered to cuddle. But the next day things still felt emotionally flat.

I told him I’d be traveling for 3 weeks to visit family soon (usually it’s 2, and he normally misses me a lot). This time he just said, “Do what you have to do. It’s not the first time.” I didn’t expect a dramatic response, but some warmth would have been nice. It made me feel like the connection is fading.

I’ve still been cooking, doing laundry, and trying to be supportive. But I’m starting to wonder:
Am I doing too much? Would pulling back help him miss me and reconnect — or would that just push him further away?

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TL;DR

27F with 28M boyfriend of 4.5 years. He emotionally shut down after a tough conversation and told me he has no bandwidth for emotional talks. I’ve been giving space, but still doing everything to keep the house running and show support. I feel invisible. Should I pull back or stay kind? What actually helps a man reconnect after withdrawing?