Honestly, everything started with the group chat drama. At first, I (27F) was part of my (28M) boyfriend’s family group chat — it included his siblings, their significant others, and sometimes their grandma. It was fine for a while until a bunch of tech problems happened (texts turning green, messages not sending), so I took the initiative to create a new group chat to help.
Somehow that became a problem. His 11-year-old little sister complained at me for “always making new chats.” I was already having a rough day and simply told her, “Chill out.” That’s it — nothing mean, nothing aggressive.
But his mom blew it completely out of proportion, accusing me of being “rude” to a child. Then one of his sisters chimed in, backing his mom up. Instead of addressing the disrespect from the child, I was made out to be the villain.
Things spiraled from there. While at dinner, I accidentally saw on another sister’s phone that they were mocking me in private group chats — calling me annoying, making fun of a sweet video I made to help their grandma. It shattered me.
I tried to defend myself, but it only got worse. My boyfriend defended me a little, but honestly not enough. I eventually removed myself from the family group chat because the disrespect and fake smiles were too much.
Later, I sent a long, thoughtful message explaining everything I was feeling — not just about their family, but about the other personal struggles I was dealing with too. Their response? Cold. Defensive. Blaming me for “making everything about myself.” No apologies. No ownership.
After that: • His little sister blocked me. • His mom and others ignored me. • His mom even told my boyfriend to remove me from the Ring camera. • When I asked to be added back to the group chat, I was ignored — and later told by my boyfriend that “nobody likes me” and I’m “too annoying” and they “don’t want to deal with my bullshit.”
Then came Easter. Even though I was hurt, I still tried to be polite. His mom made me an Easter basket, which was nice, and I told my boyfriend to say thank you since I wasn’t there. He forgot. I later texted her directly to thank her.
But in the group chat, I got ganged up on — people accused me of being “ungrateful” even though I tried to show appreciation. It felt like no matter what I did, it got twisted.
When I explained I didn’t go to Easter because I felt uncomfortable after everything that happened, I was basically told I should’ve just shown up, smiled, and acted like nothing was wrong — as if my feelings didn’t matter.
Honestly, it’s not even about the group chat anymore. It’s about realizing that no matter how hard I tried these past three years to be part of their family, I was never really accepted. I’ve apologized endlessly, but no one ever apologized to me. And now, on top of feeling isolated from my own family, I’m isolated from his too.
I’m exhausted from trying so hard to prove I deserve basic respect. I honestly don’t even know what to do anymore
WHAT DO I DO???? HOW DO I PROCEED WITH THIS??? I love my boyfriend very very much. And I honestly don’t wanna dump him all because his family. Is there any way around this? Is it fair for me to just cut the family off and focus on my relationship? How do I go about that?
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Backup of the post’s body: Honestly, everything started with the group chat drama. At first, I (27F) was part of my (28M) boyfriend’s family group chat — it included his siblings, their significant others, and sometimes their grandma. It was fine for a while until a bunch of tech problems happened (texts turning green, messages not sending), so I took the initiative to create a new group chat to help.
Somehow that became a problem. His 11-year-old little sister complained at me for “always making new chats.” I was already having a rough day and simply told her, “Chill out.” That’s it — nothing mean, nothing aggressive.
But his mom blew it completely out of proportion, accusing me of being “rude” to a child. Then one of his sisters chimed in, backing his mom up. Instead of addressing the disrespect from the child, I was made out to be the villain.
Things spiraled from there. While at dinner, I accidentally saw on another sister’s phone that they were mocking me in private group chats — calling me annoying, making fun of a sweet video I made to help their grandma. It shattered me.
I tried to defend myself, but it only got worse. My boyfriend defended me a little, but honestly not enough. I eventually removed myself from the family group chat because the disrespect and fake smiles were too much.
Later, I sent a long, thoughtful message explaining everything I was feeling — not just about their family, but about the other personal struggles I was dealing with too. Their response? Cold. Defensive. Blaming me for “making everything about myself.” No apologies. No ownership.
After that: • His little sister blocked me. • His mom and others ignored me. • His mom even told my boyfriend to remove me from the Ring camera. • When I asked to be added back to the group chat, I was ignored — and later told by my boyfriend that “nobody likes me” and I’m “too annoying” and they “don’t want to deal with my bullshit.”
Then came Easter. Even though I was hurt, I still tried to be polite. His mom made me an Easter basket, which was nice, and I told my boyfriend to say thank you since I wasn’t there. He forgot. I later texted her directly to thank her.
But in the group chat, I got ganged up on — people accused me of being “ungrateful” even though I tried to show appreciation. It felt like no matter what I did, it got twisted.
When I explained I didn’t go to Easter because I felt uncomfortable after everything that happened, I was basically told I should’ve just shown up, smiled, and acted like nothing was wrong — as if my feelings didn’t matter.
Honestly, it’s not even about the group chat anymore. It’s about realizing that no matter how hard I tried these past three years to be part of their family, I was never really accepted. I’ve apologized endlessly, but no one ever apologized to me. And now, on top of feeling isolated from my own family, I’m isolated from his too.
I’m exhausted from trying so hard to prove I deserve basic respect. I honestly don’t even know what to do anymore
WHAT DO I DO???? HOW DO I PROCEED WITH THIS??? I love my boyfriend very very much. And I honestly don’t wanna dump him all because his family. Is there any way around this? Is it fair for me to just cut the family off and focus on my relationship? How do I go about that?
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
I would’ve left when he told me I was annoying. You know how any men there are in this world? Fuck that and him and his wack ass family. Move on!
All this over a fuckin chat. These the ppl you wanna be attached to for possibly the rest of your life?
its different levels, but ESH.
Taking it upon yourself to make a new groupchat for his family is incredibly presumptuous, and then to take out your rough day on an 11 year old instead of just explaining why you made a new chat is crazy.
You clearly like your boyfriend more than he likes you. Otherwise he’d have your back like any decent partner does. I dont think “cutting the family off” is going to work because everything you typed makes me think he’d pick the family over you.
His family also sucks and is rude, but i’m not sure i blame them for everything here.
Your bf told you that you’re annoying, no one likes you, and they don’t want to deal with your bs, AND YOURE STILL WITH HIM! Why?
This relationship isn’t working. His family doesn’t like you. He sides with his family. This isn’t going to magically get fixed.
It does seem like you’ve done some things that might not have the best – make your own chat, rude to a kid, word-vomiting all her personal info. None of these are a good look. It sounds like you need to learn to read the room.
They don’t seem to like you and are very rude, I wouldn’t want to be in this family for the rest of my life, find one that will love and want you around.
Unless he intends to cut off his family, this is your life.
If you don’t like his family and they don’t like you, this will be how it goes forever.
Oh, and telling the 11-year-old to “chill out” WAS aggressive.
They were rude, but taking out your bad day on the 11 year old. That’s very weird. To be honest, the fact it happened with a child instead of an adult, you would’ve not even been allowed around me again. She 11 ! Just explain why you made the new chat. Then when you mentioned they didn’t apologize for how she acted ??? Girl are you okay ? She’s 11!