(28 M) relationship attraction

r/

Is physical attraction dynamic or static?

I met an amazing woman from FB dating – yes I know. We hit it off immediately mentally and vibe-wise. However, I noticed on first glance I was more attracted to the pics on her IG than her actual self. There were flaws I saw that I didn’t see yet, but nothing major. We had a great first date and have been texting/talking daily. She says she wants to have a future w me, and I am still scared and unsure. I feel like a dick for even saying this but it’s like I am attracted to 90% of her body but not “head over heels” and def see people in passing I think are “sexier”.

However, her personality is truly a home run. I know it seems obvious – looks should never outweigh the heart and I agree. However, am I an asshole for having those thoughts plague me? I am extremely OCD/ Anxiety ridden (diagnosed and on meds my whole life), so part of me feels like I’m self sabatoging bc I struggle with change. The other side of me says “hey, you have been single for so long, you need to wait for that 10/10 (that prob doesn’t exist)!”

Hope this isn’t too crazy. Guess I’m wondering – does physical attraction grow? If I am falling in love w her personality, will the rest figure itself out? I must not too, it’s not that I’m NOT attracted to her. It’s that I’m NOT AS attracted to her as I was w her IG. Which is foolish, I know – but it keeps bothering me, almost like what if I realize the attraction isn’t where it should be deep down the road? I don’t even know how “attraction” is supposed to look in a relationship, as both my serious relationships were too short for any of that to happen.

TL;DR – does physical attraction grow, and if I’m not CRAZY attracted to someone but slowly falling in love with their personality, it it worth exploring?

Thanks in advance, and hope y’all are having a good day!

Comments

  1. Omblae Avatar

    Physical attraction rarely grows.

    But everyone gets old, if you like being around them then you’ll want to get old with them.

    Looks fade, personality tends not to.

    Don’t settle, just know that when you get to 30 the dating scene changes somewhat and not for the better.