I 28/f is/was in a long-distance relationship for almost 6 years. We were supposed to get married this December we live in the same country by the way. He had even sent money for me to keep it. I thought this was my forever.
He often forgot things that mattered deeply to me. Recently, I graduated something I worked so hard for and on the very day of my graduation, he asked why I wasn’t going to work. He forgot. Again. I had planned to travel 14 hours to see him the next day, which I did, tired, emotional, but still showing up for him like I always have.
While I was visiting, I found pictures of another woman on his phone including HIV test results they had exchanged. I asked him why, and he said he was “just playing” with her. But when I looked deeper, I realized she had been blocked on his WhatsApp. Something felt off. Eventually, after asking a few more times, he admitted: Yes, I told her I love her but I didn’t mean it. I was just playing. They met on Facebook and haven’t met physically.
I couldn’t just let it go. A few days later, I told him I needed space that I wasn’t sure I could trust him again. He simply replied, “Okay babe.” And then blocked me.
We have a 5 year-old child together. I supported him when he was unemployed. I stood by him, made the effort, travelled to be with him. I never stopped trying.
Now I’m left sitting with this pain. I keep checking to see if he unblocked me. Part of me wants to reach out, even though I know I probably shouldn’t.
I don’t understand how someone who claimed they wanted to marry me, who shared a child with me, could treat me like this, like I was disposable.
I’m not okay. And maybe I just needed to say that out loud. If you’ve ever been through something like this… how did you survive this?
Comments
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We’d like to take this time to remind users that:
We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors
We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.
Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)
ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.
No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users “friend-zoned”, referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me’s, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.
All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don’t get a free pass.
Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned.
What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, “body counts” or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.
If you have any questions, please message the mods
This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
You should move on, I know it it’s difficult but it’s good for your soul, one day you will be happy that you took the right decision, if someone blocked you without any closure, he doesn’t deserve you.
To me, this looked like he cheated on you because he already moved on emotionally. He lied to you and you are disposable to him. Now you found out who he really is and it’s your turn to move on. You take it one day at a time and you focus on what you need to do for yourself and for your child. Eventually, you will leave the hurt behind you.
One thing you need to do now is to consult a lawyer about your options to make him legally obligated to pay you money for child support.
It will hurt, you’ll go through the heart break. But keep one thing on your mind: this man is a pig. He did this because he is an awful person. So sorry, you even have a child together. Take good care of yourself and the kid.
I mean… is he an active father on your child’s life?
So many questions i have…
First thing first, get him on child support.
You exchange hiv tests if you plan to ditch condoms. That was a serious thing. At least for her. He seems to just cut people off as soon as things get emotionally complicated.