ive (29F) been seeing a guy (28M) for a few weeks now, we recently put the label on our relationship. we have fun together, have so much in common and share so many long term goals, things are going good. however whenever we arent together, i feel like i dont like him as much and my brain tries to give me the ick when i think about him. it makes it hard to want to see him again but as soon as i do, im reminded that we have a great time and i dont feel that way. this happens every time i see him and im not sure what sort of illness or coping mechanism this response is?! advice?
Comments
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We’d like to take this time to remind users that:
We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors
We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.
Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)
ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.
No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users “friend-zoned”, referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me’s, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.
All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don’t get a free pass.
Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned.
What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, “body counts” or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.
If you have any questions, please message the mods
This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
It just sounds like you’re forcing this relationship.
Sounds like you aren’t actually attracted to him, but he’s fun to be around and a good guy when you are together.
let this man go before you hurt him?
Do you typically date men who are unhealthy for you? If so, you might not be ready for a healthy relationship and have work to do on yourself. Healthy can feel awful when you’re used to chaos.
If that’s not the case, this is not your person. Break up with him. No need to overanalyze, you’re not feeling it and respecting him enough to end it rather than leading him on.
I was on a relationship like this. This is your gut screaming at you not to be with him. The guy I was with was super slick and able to do and say things that made me think I should be with him. I only saw this later after I ended it.
My advice is to trust your gut and end it.
Sounds more like someone you’d have as a good friend rather than a romantic partner. You two should probably have a conversation before he ends up getting hurt.
Are you a self sabotaging type?
If not, then maybe there is something off about this guy and it’s a gut feeling
What is the ick man, why are women saying this all of the sudden?
Im gonna guess you are either self sabotaging or you’re used to NRE and toxicity
I have this thing where when im not around my friends. I dont want to talk to them or do anything, and I dread any plans I’ve made. Then, when I actually hang out with them, I have tons of fun. Rinse and repeat. I dont really know what it is, and it wasn’t always like this. I used to be the type of person to strike up conversations out of nowhere. I think I can
traced it to a bad experience I had trying to reconnect with an old friend, but I dont know for sure
You may be experiencing something similar. What do you feel when around him? Like do you kinda have fun with him, like he chooses fun things to do, or does the relationship feel “real” and you feel romantic feelings for him. If you simply have fun, you might make better friends. If you do feel something more, though, you might be self sabotaging.