29F My fiancé 30M searching a girl on instagram who we met at a wedding.

r/

I am 3 mo postpartum with my first baby. My fiancé and I flew across the US to go to his best friends wedding. My fiancé was the best man. The first day we got there, I noticed the maid of honour being overly friendly towards my fiancé. But being that I am freshly postpartum, I thought that maybe it was my hormones making me feel uncomfortable and annoyed. The next day we had a dinner with everyone, and the same thing happened. Everything that came out of my partners mouth she had a comment to make. At this point I was very annoyed so when we got back to the hotel I told my partner “Jennifer seems to be overly friendly towards you” to which he just said he was sorry and he would keep that in mind”. I ended up not being able to go to the wedding the day after because my baby was fussy and needed me. It has been a month since this event but I just noticed that 2 days after we got back home I saw that he searched her on instagram and TikTok. Is this something I should bring up to him or drop it?

Comments

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  2. ronixi Avatar

    Yeah that is messed up , let him know you don’t tolerate emotional cheating either.

  3. Fleurbug Avatar

    You may be overreacting. Sometimes we search things out of curiosity. I’ll search people just for the hell of it who I don’t even know or who mean nothing to me. It doesn’t mean that anything is going to come of it, and it likely doesn’t. How did you see his search history? Did he follow her? Are there other things going on that may cause you to snoop?

    Depending on how you found out that he searched her would determine whether you should mention it. If you saw it while he was using his phone, its on you to decide whether to speak of it. If you were snooping on his phone, I’d say no because that’s a violation of trust and it may create a problem of something that’s not really a problem in the first place.

  4. RocinanteOPA Avatar

    It sounds like you are hugely overreacting and trying to make problems where there aren’t any.

  5. Chfvdr13 Avatar

    I’d definitely bring it up and share how you’re feeling. It’s not normal to go out of his way to track someone down on social media. I usually trust my gut in situations like this, but if something feels off it’s worth looking into. I wonder if they socialized quite a bit at the wedding. It could just be a harmless crush, which is normal, as long as he doesn’t act on it. Either way, something’s up.

  6. Firm_Distribution999 Avatar

    I would since he said he was sorry and would keep that in mind and then goes searching her up…

    You raised it as an issue so now its an issue. I’d ask if he ever found Jennifer on social media and why is he so interested…?

    Men cheat during times of transition – like pregnancy or new baby – so he may be looking for an escape from his reality. Its something that should be handled in therapy and discussions with you – not through other people like Jennifer 

  7. rattlecandan75 Avatar

    Say something it’s never good to hold it off.Just be clear on your delivery not to be abrasive. IMO

  8. Some_Experience_3543 Avatar

    I’d drop it. It’s not uncommon to search people up after meeting them, I mean I do it all the time lol and it’s no ill intentions, just curiosity. They had some sort of bonding it sounds like being in the same wedding party but it doesn’t sound suspicious to me.

    I’d be more alarmed if they were chatting or became friends outside of this wedding. Maybe if they were following each other but even that’s a stretch to be a concern. A simple search? Nah. I wouldn’t get yourself hung over it.

    It could just be her personality too and not anything to do with your husband. He can’t control her responses to him and it doesn’t sound like he was over friendly with her.