TL;DR:
29M, ex 26F, 2 kids under 3. She left 3 months ago. I love her, miss her, and I’m still trying to be a good dad. She’s already seeing someone new. Rebounds: do they work? Can I hold out for my family, or am I just torturing myself?
Post:
We split three months ago. I (29M) and my ex (26F) share two kids, both under three. Since the split, I’ve been seeing the kids, keeping things stable, and trying to manage my own emotions.
She’s now moved on. She’s seeing someone else, spending time with him while I still have the kids on weekends. Every day, I’m reminded that our life is gone, and I miss her so much. The kids ask about her constantly, and I try to keep it normal for them, but it’s brutal.
I’m not looking to “move on” like some people say — I love her, I want my family back, I want to be with my kids and her again. But seeing her with someone else, so soon, makes me question whether holding out is realistic or just a slow kind of torture.
Has anyone here been through this? Do rebounds ever actually work, or is this just the end? How do you survive emotionally while holding out hope?
Comments
Well, why did you two break up? And rebounds are hit or miss depending on whats the purpose of the rebound. Do you just want sex? Do you just want companionship? Are you trying to make her jealous?
Some rebounds work and some don’t.
But the real question is, why the break up? Is it actually salvageable or is she totally done?
Do rebounds work? Sometimes, but in my experience, it usually doesn’t. But take that with caution because that’s a small sample size.
More pertinent is that you say you want her and your family back. The harsh truth is she may not want you back. It’s a two way street.
You’ll always have a family. But how a family looks can change over time – like with co-parenting.
You say you don’t want to move on, but I strongly suggest you do. And that’s not to say you should go and get a rebound yourself, but maybe explore professional help. I did it years ago when a long term relationship ended and it worked wonders for my mindset and growth.