My wife of 10 years recently started playing her own video game (we used to play together) before she would stay up til 2 am and is a night owl.
Now with this new game she is staying up consistenly until 4 am and keeps saying she lost track of time.
Shes at SAHM and i go to work early so i have felt alone for the last month since i always go to sleep alone. Before we used to spend time after our son would go to bed, now she seems to get annoyed when i try to talk to her while she is on her game.
The house has gotten messier since this trend has started and she is sleeping in later in the morning.
Usually our son gets up at 8 am with me for breakfast and she wont message me until after 11 am or 12 pm.
It seems like she started playing with a famous streamer who is 3 hours behind us and stays up alone waiting for him to get on.
When i express concern over her staying up so late and our toddler being alone in the morning for 3 or 4 hours she calls me controlling and that i dont set her bed time.
She has also told me i dont appreciate her when i mention our living space has gotten messier since she started playing. Ive also noticed her playing this game during the day a lot more, before she would wait for our toddler to sleep.
I clean what i can when i get home from work but i cant keep up with the constant toddler messes by myself sonce i cook and clean for dinner each night and we used to work together on it.
When i try to discuss going to bed earlier for our son or cutting back a bit on play time to spend an hour or two cleaning i get told that i am controlling and unappreciative and that i dont set her bed time.
This new habit is making me feel less attracted to her since it feels like she is putting this game and her new streamer friends before our family.
What is reasonable in this situation?
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What game and yeah gaming could be addicting, she needs to learn how to balance it, like me and my bf are gamers yeah but I would never ignore him for a game, if it’s our time I’ll stop, if he message me I’ll make sure to reply asap or if I can’t pause after a match, his the same so he understands, I don’t get why she’s trying to gaslight you, like so she’s choosing a game over you guys ? I see it as very unhealthy
She’s neglecting your child? That could become a serious issue down the line. She sounds like a bratty teenager, not an adult… Can you stop enabling her? Change the internet password so she has no choice but to actually talk to you? She clearly isn’t open to reasonable conversation right now…
Erm dude, sounds like your wife is having an emotional affair with a guy on the game and neglecting you and the kid. And blaming you because its ruining her fantasy bubble.
I would pop it. No more SAHM, she needs to get a job, you arent funding her time with another guy, wtf.
And if she argues, you explain she will have to fund 100% if you divirce due to her neglect.
Hope your not in the US divorce laws suck, but I would still go talk to one and fund out what the options are to protect you and your kid.
Throw the game away.
Has she been tested for adhd? Might not be relevant but I’m a single mom with adhd and my life is a constant battle of trying to pry myself away from screens when I’m burnt out and need an escape, they’re insanely addictive for me.
My meds alone help but aren’t the solution, I’m in therapy working on executive dysfunction to be able to keep myself responsible and in reality where I’m needed.
Also, I’m really sorry this is happening. It sounds very disappointing and difficult.