30s, never dated. How do I avoid being a fool in love? Tell me the lessons you wish you knew earlier.
30s, never dated. How do I avoid being a fool in love? Tell me the lessons you wish you knew earlier.
r/AskMen
30s, never dated. How do I avoid being a fool in love? Tell me the lessons you wish you knew earlier.
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Boundaries and standards are important for men to have too.
If you think she might be the one, move in with her early on and run a trial. Observe her approach to hygiene, finances, career progression, family, etc. You could spend the rest of your life with this woman. You should know as much about her as possible as early as possible. Don’t be afraid to walk away.
You will probably get hurt at some point, but the good parts are worth it.
Be honest with yourself, and don’t try and fit yourself completely into someone else’s box, compromise sure, but continue to be yourself, and hold on to the things you value.
Just because something feels new and exciting, doesn’t mean it’s good for you. So enjoy the feelings of lust and desire, but be aware, they can lead you towards people who are really bad for you.
Other than that, go and have fun.
The real “fool in love” isn’t the one who feels deeply, it’s the one who trades his self-respect to keep someone else happy.
The lessons I wish I knew earlier:
Don’t ignore red flags because you’re afraid to be alone.
Attraction can blind you, but character is what will break or build you.
Love is not meant to cost you your identity, your values, or your peace.
If you can’t be fully honest without fear of losing them, you’ve already lost yourself.
Love tests whether you will betray yourself or stay whole, and become more of, or less than your true self in the process. Choose the latter, every time.
You are the first priority.
I am not sure what you want, but if you want a longterm relationship, then that person has to like who you are and actually want to spend time with you.
So think of finding the right person for you, and not being a person someone else is looking for.
Dating is a skill that requires extensive practice to master. No matter how many good pieces of advice you get here, they’ll all be useless for you if you don’t have any experience. Just go try, fail, try again, fail again, learn from mistakes, note how women react to your actions, what to say and what not to say, and so on. You’ll almost certainly get a few bruises along the way. It’s okay. Sooner or later you’re gonna get better at it.
It’s like asking how to drive perfectly without actually trying to drive even once
all of the advice so far is about what to do if she’s crazy, im going to tell you to stay grounded and not let yourself be the crazy one. She’s not an extension of you, how she feels about you shouldn’t change how you feel about yourself.
At 30+ you’re probably going to be a bit insecure, but try not to let that get away from you.
Always be honest about the fact that you have no experience in dating, in the past I have met guys who acted very strange and sometimes it seems that they don’t like you as much because of nerves, or inappropriate comments, later I met some of those guys again since I have always lived in the same city, and they told me that it was because they were nervous and didn’t know how to act with a girl because they had never been on dates with one, we laugh about it because it is normal we were very young at that time, but if you are already more than thirty it is better that you be honest so that she can understand if your behavior is not very appropriate for the situation, good luck.
Apart from some of the things already said here, someone being nice to you doesn’t mean they’re INTO you.