I’ll start by saying this is the longest relationship ive been in (almost 2 years), and only the second total. The first was maybe 6 months. I don’t have very much relationship experience.
I love and care deeply about my girlfriend but I’m starting to feel like we don’t have a future together.
She’s in the middle of filing for bankruptcy, and she is struggling majorly financially. I’ve been helping her out wherever I can. I paid for and installed a new engine in her car. I paid for a rental for her for a week while I was doing the work. Etc.
Shes made a lot of bad financial decisions in the past and that scares me, although she is definitely making improvements now. She wants me to move in, and im feeling very torn and having trouble committing to this even though I told her i would recently. It would help her immensely to have me paying rent. But im worried it will put me in a bad position given her current and future financial situation. I’ve also told her this.
I dont want to make this too long, but there are some other reasons why I’m starting to not feel compatible with her anymore, but this is the most relevant because I don’t want to abandon her in her time of need. It makes me feel dreadful. I want her to be okay and make it through this. If i dont move in and pay rent, she will be in big trouble as soon as the next unexpected expense hits. She has no credit cards and no savings at the moment. Not to mention intense depression and anxiety. I dont want to cause her any more pain or stress. Im not sure what to do.
Tl;dr: I care about my girlfriend and don’t want to abandon her, but I’m torn between helping her financially by moving in and protecting myself from a relationship and future that may not be right for me.