Already go to the gym, lost a decent amount of weight in the last 2 years, have above average muscle mass and yet have less than zero confidence or self-esteem. Some tips would be appreciated.
Already go to the gym, lost a decent amount of weight in the last 2 years, have above average muscle mass and yet have less than zero confidence or self-esteem. Some tips would be appreciated.
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Increasing confidence is a MENTAL thing. It’s the way you see things in life. How you approach it in a optimistic view more than negative.
Confidence comes from doing things, trying new things, taking risks and reaping the rewards. If you never try hard things, you will never gain confidence.
Talk to everyone you see all day long, even just short chats. Dog park, bus stop, grocery stores, every wear.
Also when ever someone asks you “how’s it going?” Always be cheery about it, my go to is “absolutely fabulous!” It catches people off guard & they usually brighten right up.
Positivity is contagious, and single serve conversations with strangers gets rid of fear and anxiety.
Edit: also complimenting strangers, I do this all the time. For women, never there physical features. I love you glasses, love the colour of your nails, those earrings are fantastic! Your blue hair is awsome, super vibrant!
For men, I compliment facial hair or cool cloths. Great moustache dude, love your shoes, wow you are dressed very nice such a dapper looking gentleman
Muscle mass does not equate to confidence (as you’ve found out I guess).
Are you a social person? Do you get out a lot? Would you / can you chat to a stranger comfortably? Confidence stems from social interaction, swap some gym workouts for some social workouts and you’ll start to see a difference.
Forget about it, literally. Get a hobby in a public place, like maybe dancing or a sport that takes place in an environment with your peers, low stakes and just purely for leisure/enjoyment. Just engage with the activity, no extra effort or mental work needed, just do the thing you’re there to do.
Confidence will be built over time, organically, around the interactions you have in those environments.
Acceptance.
You’re no more fucked up than me or anyone else. EVERYONE and I mean EVERYONE has some sort of nibbling insecurity. Yet here you are crushing it and being you. What’s wrong with that?
P.S. I struggle with the commitment to physical health you’re demonstrating.
Reframe your past to be able to celebrate all you’ve gone through and accomplished up to this point.
Celebrate that you’re making small improvements towards growth.
And continue to push yourself out of your comfort zone and keep the promises you make to yourself.
But answer this question, what could you do or accomplish that you think would increase your confidence the most?
I see that you do hard/different things. Keep working at them until you get better. Having success at something, can bring confidence. Some ideas could be to do a triathlon, pick up a somewhat difficult hobby, or do “big” things at work. I’ve found this sort of stuff to help me.
Confidence is a choice. Choose to be confident
Do this for 1 month and see how you feel afterwards.
Every single day, give a compliment to a stranger.
Get into the elevator at work and the guy next to you has shoes that look nice? “Hey man I like your shoes, they look sharp”
Woman in the elevator has a floral design on her blouse that looks nice? “Hey, I like your blouse, I love the floral design on it”
Guy changing in the locker room right next to you at the gym “I saw you putting in work on those dumbells, your shoulders look good man. Keep it up!”
At the grocery store picking out vegetables “Excuse me, can you help me pick out a good broccoli? I’m new to eating broccoli and I’m not sure what the best one is. Thank you for your help, that was really kind of you. I appreciate it!”
One comment, every day. Write down what the comment was in a spreadsheet/journal/whatever. You’ll find that making other people feel good will make you feel good too.
Is it across the board lacking confidence? Or in any specific part of your life (like work, dating, socializing, etc.)