Hey all,
I 32 F and my partner 38 M have been together for 3 years. I found evidence of him sexting another woman 30 F. Turns out, it was someone he used to sleep with before we got together, around 7 years ago.
I wanna start out by saying that this is so unexpected, I’m literally in shock. We have a great relationship, still very cuddly and intimate, have a good laugh and have built a really solid life together in the short time we’ve been together. The type of green flag guy everyone is after. I thought it would be marriage and maybe even kids on the way, but now my whole world has been shook.
The last conversation happened in February, and I found no other evidence (because it had all been deleted except this one convo), I immediately messaged the woman on Instagram and she was very honest and open about what happened in February but very vague about the other instances, but stated they have sexted before with pictures and FaceTime. The woman is also in a relationship so it was also all deleted on her side.
My partner and I have spoken about it and it’s happened a few times throughout our relationship just with this person. My partner is ashamed, and I’m disgusted.
I’m camped out in the spare room because I can’t even begin to think about smoothing things over. I think it makes it worse because they have been physical in the past???
Can this type of thing be worked through? Has anyone else been through this?
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In all honesty you are 32, no kids or financial commitments together. I would say leave. Why wait around to see if he is gonna cheat again (I would consider texting cheating)
I’ve been through this, and your relationship will never be the same. If he really loved you, he wouldn’t have done this (especially multiple times). You deserve better.
He definitely doing more than just sexting trust me . A man will do anything to get his nut off even if he has a gf/wife .
Leave.
Also three years isn’t that short of a time. Were you two actively discussing marriage and becoming engaged?
Your partner was cheating. You have to either leave or reconcile. Reconciling is hard. You partner will need to bend over backwards to rebuild trust, give you full access to his phone, let you know where he is, answer fully all your questions – basically whatever you need to feel secure again. Is he willing? Whatever you do, don’t rug-sweep the affair.
BTW: Tell the AP’s partner.
Take some time to cool off and then see if hes worth forgiving. That other girl is probably freaking out too that youre going to tell her boyfriend/husband.
Once a dog strays they never go straight
You have nothing holding you down to that kind of life and behavior
Be thankful for that and dump his ass
iv been in a marriage like this for 8 years. he did it once or twice before.i forgave him…mostly for the kids sake. and things were great for a long time..until guess what:..he did it again even worse…yes years later…. leave now.. they don’t change!
You may be sexting with many after this post…
Unfortunately once a cheater, always a cheater. Not even joking. You should think twice about staying with him. Good luck.
> Can this type of thing be worked through?
No.
Hate to say this but he’s physically cheating as well. There’s more to this than they both letting out to protecting each other.
Contact the OBS and inform him of what has been going on. Maybe he might have seen a change in behaviours on his side.
Yes, 3 years might seem a long time, but you are lucky for finding this out as you have a choice to end this relationship. He’s showing you who he is really is and what he is capable of doing.
Actions speak much louder than words. He’s already shown you who he is. Get tested. Build a new life.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news. He’s not over her. He’ll go back to her if she allow him. Your “relationship” is literally in the hands of the woman he’s sexting.
Sexting an old f-buddy. There’s a good chance they’ve hooked up and he just hid it well… and you would have never known if he didn’t admit it so how can you trust that he’s telling you everything?
Only you can determine what he must say and do to win back your trust. Good luck to you.
Tell the other girls husband and dump his ass
Idk if it can be worked out. My husband got another woman pregnant during my pregnancy. That couldn’t be worked out. Only you know what you want to put up with.
Young, unmarried, no kids…. You leave that’s what you do