I am really struggling. I just found out my fiancé of 2 years has been cheating on me with a 44F for the last 4 months. He said he did it because he was unhappy in our relationship and told me that many times. I tried to fix our relationship but he already seemed checked out and pulled back from me more and more. It was because he was in a relationship with her (they became exclusive with each other in Sept while he was still with me).
The other woman showed me screenshots of what he said to her the morning I confronted him about finding out about everything. I broke up with him and he said “I love you and I always will.”
Then immediately he sent her this text that she showed me. He said to her “I want nothing more than to be in bed with you rubbing your back and listening to you talk about your day. The relationship I had with her has been over for a long time I just wasn’t man enough to end it because I was afraid of what she would do. She’s manipulative. We have not been in love for awhile. I will work every day to fix this between us. I will recourt you. I will make you feel like the amazing, beautiful, perfect person you are. I will be there for you emotionally and physically, always.” He blocked me after.
He told me every day that he loved me. He strung me along and I believed we were ok, even though we had arguments we were working on I had no idea he had been doing this behind my back the last 4 months. He carried on like everything was normal. I am devastated and heartbroken and numb. I can’t stop picturing them together and knowing all of his love was just transferred to her makes me feel sick. Hes moving on without skipping a beat and Im completely alone.
I loved him more than Ive ever loved anyone and I can’t believe he could just replace me like this. They even went on a mountain road trip last weekend together out of town, he told me he went with his guy friend and couldn’t call me because of “bad service.” I feel like I am in a nightmare I can’t wake up from. Please give me some advice on how to process and deal with this?
TLDR; Fiance of 2 years cheated on me with a 44F for the last 4 months. The text messages he sent her after I found out were devastating.
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I am so sorry that this person did that to you !
May you find peace and give yourself some grace to heal, and move fwd with your life .
You know what adults in relationships do when an issue rises with their partner?
They talk their partner.
His choice to cheat was never your fault.
He did you a favor.
He thinks you have a small brain that his Jedi mind tricks would work on you.
Focus on you. Do things you enjoy. Go out with friends and show the men out there how sexy you are.
Have fun. I started a business to focus on after I’d had enough of my second husband cheating on me. I filed for divorce and threw my energy by starting my business and I went out with friends and had fun.
Whether it was clubbing, throwing parties, going to concerts, plays or just meeting for coffee and sometimes dinner. We even went bowling.
Honey I had the exact same thing happen to me and we were married, he even transferred our special nicknames to her so I guess some men are just dogs!
He’s still playing the same games with new women after we’ve been divorced for years, just know that we all deserve better than that and heal soon!
Look at it this way he showed who he was way too soon so now you don’t have to go through a divorce
Time is what’s going to get you through this unfortunately. Just be kind to yourself. He’s a cheater and a liar and he’ll probably do it to her one day.
So you will eventually move on and be happier with someone who treats you with the love and respect you deserve (and in the process realize how bad this relationship was), 44F will end up getting cheated on next, and ex-bf will keep monkey branching and treating women like crap. Sounds like you won. Give it time, you will agree.
Give a good therapist. He’s an asshole blaming you for his shortcomings. Don’t let him destroy your self esteem
They did you a favour, and it must be quite embarrassing for both of them because, in the end, they are the fools, not you, and this is not your fault.