After I confronted the other woman, literally gave her screenshots of proof she said she’s willing to give him another chance. I’m disgusted. She also showed me texts from him this morning after he told me how sorry he was that I found out, that he still loves me and never wanted to lose me etc. The texts literally said from him to her, “I want nothing more than to rub your back and listen to your day in bed again. I will work every day to fix this between us.”
He lied for months telling her that I was the crazy ex and that he broke up with me a year ago. All lies. So many lies. He had a secret phone I didn’t even know about. I threw up from the pain and the shock of learning about everything. It breaks my heart knowing hes talking to her like he talks to me. She said “His feelings for me seem genuine so I’m going to hear him out and see what happens and give him another chance.”
I said yeah, I thought his feelings for me were sincere too. How can she be so naive?? This makes me sick to my stomach! He called me this morning telling me he loved me and how sorry he was! I have been in a fog all morning, I feel so empty. She told me they have been together since June talking every single day. He lied to me saying he went on a mountain road trip over the weekend with a guy friend but it was with her instead.
She said they’ve been intimate “several times a week” since JUNE! I’m going to be sick. Knowing they’re going to keep seeing each other even after all of this breaks my heart. I told him she sent me screen shots of him begging for her back this morning too, and he said “I just want to be happy!” and blocked me. Please give me some advice to get over this and heal faster? I have been praying for God to take the love I have for this man away.
TLDR; Fiance of 2 years has been cheating on me since June. I told the other woman everything, gave her proof and she’s still willing to keep seeing him. Advice?
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Let them keep each other. What else could you possibly want?
Try to stop thinking about the two of them. What they do is out of your control.
Focus on you. What have you not been doing that you like? What friend have you missed seeing that you can schedule dinner with? Do you want to pick up a new hobby? And when talking to friends family and coworkers try to plan to not talk about your ex unless asked. It seems crazy, but when you start going down a rabbit hole thinking about it, tell yourself stop it over and over until your brain gets distracted by something else; I use this technique when my anxious thoughts are overwhelming me.
And get therapy.
I mean hes awful. Lose the guy he will cheat on the new chick too. He isnt a prize
Leave. That’s it. Just leave.
She thinks she’s won a prize but he will just lie and cheat on her too.
Grieve for the relationship you thought you had, try not to think about them together
He’s your ex, who cares.
Surrounded yourself with friends. Get out of the house. Anything. Go dancing. Volunteer. My mom actually gave me the best advice. It’s really hard to feel bad about your own stuff when doing good for people who depend on the kindness of others just to get through the day. I’ve done that and as usual, she was so right.
You don’t need god to take away the love you have for this man. It should soon evaporate on its own now that you know what a despicable liar he is. Those two deserve each other. Leave with your head held high, knowing you dodged a bullet by finding this out before you married him.
There’s no magical way to get over the pain. It’s going to take time and distance. If you can realize he was never worthy of you then it MIGHT help, but for now you’ve just got a get up every day and keep breathing
At least you found out he’s a liar and a cheater before you married him.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. Please don’t stay with him. He will just continue to cheat and lie.
What advice do you need? its your X. And you dodged a bullet by finding out now as opposed to being married with 3 kids. Consider it a gift… and remember if he cheated on you, he will cheat on her too. She wants a cheater, she gets everything she wants. And he is seriously a miserable human so… let him be miserable. Go volunteer at an animal shelter and get kisses from the residents there.
Threeway call her with him on FaceTime. She’s claiming he has another phone and could be lying. Either way this will prove what’s really happening behind the scenes to you both. It’s important to remove all doubt that a cheater is a cheater so you can move on and not wonder and go back. (Sorry, I had to learn the hard way myself and you can’t argue with irrefutable proof)
She’s doing you a favor by keeping the cheater to herself.
He’s been calling you his ex, now his wish has come true!!! Words are pretty, but words lie. Look at what he does if you want the truth, and truth is he wants to be in bed with her, literally, because that’s where he’s been since June. He chose her over you. Nothing he says will change that fact. Your eyes are open. You are righteously angry. Channel that dark energy into sweeping that loser out of your life forever. Then take time to grieve and move on. Focus on yourself. He’s made himself expendable.
Apologies if I’m being harsh, I truly don’t wish to upset you, I only want to cut through the fog and show you what’s real.
Let her keep him and get a new side chicken.
Grieve the loss.
Move on.
You deserve better
I am SO sorry this happened to you. I haven’t been through this exact situation but something very similar so I can truly emphasize with your pain. The first thing you need to do is commit to NEVER try to contact him again. The man despises you and that’s why he felt comfortable treating you this way. Don’t worry about what she does. If that’s what she wants her life to be that’s no concern of yours.
Don’t let yourself go on the rebound. What I mean is don’t jump into another relationship or even another bed too quickly. It will not make things better. Don’t pour out your problems to some guy who will see your vulnerability and take advantage. It takes time to get over this shit. I went a few weeks barely eating and unable to really function. Let yourself feel it. It’s the only way to get over it.
If you have vacation time you may want to take a few days to just cry and think. If you have a reliable friend to vent to it helps. But don’t burden yourself with thoughts of him. He’s a monster. LET HIM GO.
When you are ready to take a chance on someone else, don’t bring this poison with you. Recognize the signs you may have missed and look deep. Don’t go after the same type. I am just SO sorry you’re going through this.
Girl let her old ass have him, and don’t look back. The best revenge is living well.
She knows exactly what she is getting, and doesn’t have the self esteem to expect better.
They deserve each other. Your husband’s a liar and a cheater. No coming from this. Trust is gone. Don’t settle for this.
Definitely let her go, she is nothing to you. And you’re going to gave to grieve every minute of your relationship and betrayal. But as each part of you experiences feelings odndenial, anger, bargaining and Depression, let a part of you recognise and observe “so this is that stage of grief, here we go” and feel it and let it go. Each day will get easier. Acceptance will come.
You are 33, you have so much ahead of you. Don’t waste another second with this looser. It isn’t love, he’s just been your standard for so long….he’s more like a bad habit. Let her have him, chances are that he’s her last ditch romance
Honey, this other girl is signing up to be played a fool for MANY MORE MONTHS or even years, while you already see him for what he is.. disgusting. Who cares? Let her have him. She deserves him if he really thinks that she’s ever going to be treated any different. He’s a CHEATER in capitals. This is a man who can’t NOT cheat. He will always cheat. He’s going to cheat on her too, and then on that girl, and so on and so on… probably until he’s dead or unable. Maybe he’ll get married. Maybe they’ll LOOK happy, but you’ll know she’s an idiot and he’s cheating becuase that is who he is. It is important here that you focus on HIM being DISGUSTING and not on any other women that he has also managed to brainwash. They are not your concern.
Do not fight for a cheater. Do not fight to save an already broken relationship. Do not agree to therapy with a pathological liar. These things may seem obvious but they sometimes aren’t when you’re in the worst of things. You found out your life was a lie, your partner is someone entirely different, and this is going to be major hurt. It will take time. You will be angry and sad and disgusted and nothing is going to help but time. But the last thing you want to give this AH is the satisfaction of seeing you hurt. I would kick his ass out, block all contact, freeze joint funds, anything I could to make it difficult for him and protect myself. If you have joint finances or property get a lawyer IMMEDIATELy. Otherwise, just find a way out, and disappear from his life without discussion. Nothing. No crying, begging, screaming, nothing. Just walk away.
Then take your time to grieve. Get some therapy. This is a major betrayal and you don’t want to carry this baggage forward so you need to work through it. And then you will end up with a much better person who would never do this to you. Thankfully you found out before marriage. I’m so sorry, but you are stronger than you think.
I know you’re don’t see it now, but please know that her continuing to give him a chance, is a gift to you.
It sounds like you too would give him another chance. This takes that massively destructive option away. Now you’re free to start healing and move on. Even better with the knowledge that these 2 sorry, miserable losers will be dragging each other down….while you rise up and start your better life.
I know it’s not easy and it hurts and you feel like he doesn’t deserve another chance with her, but please know they’re both getting exactly what they deserve. They are both pathetic and miserable. They have 0% chance of happiness together.
Now, you have to really work on yourself and become strong. Because it’s not going to be long before your Ex gets bored and wants to come back. THAT’s when you know you’ve come out on top. When you can literally ignore the annoying misquoto he is, because you’re living your best life.
Lack of morals, integrity and a cheater. She wants to still talk to him base on her feelings, not logic. He will break her heart just as he did to you.
If he wants to be happy by begging his side chick for another chance then you should consider him an ex. Him blocking you and saying what he said tells you everything you need to know. He doesn’t care about you.
You should move on and get a new hobby or something to occupy your time. Stop thinking about them. Let the trash have each other and think about how you’re going to move forward from here. You don’t think about trash, you just throw it out. Get a full STI test to make sure he didn’t give you anything.
Just move on. These two deserve each other.
What advice are you looking for? He’s a lying manipulator. Either leave him or share him.
I think you know that it has run its course. She’s nothing to you. He’s lost your love, respect and trust in such a way that it’s tantamount to abuse. These people have no shame and no consideration for you. Move on.
Mentally, you need to close that book of options. Decide. It’s your life, you only get one. You are the lead character. Take control of your life again. Think about yourself. You need to get over this blow.
First make a list of things you like, things you dislike, things you are looking forward to, music, books whatever. Try to use a pen and paper as it apparently helps the process. Focus on discovering who you really are and what to be. To be in the driving seat of your life you need to have ideas, wants, plans, ambitions, a bucket list…
Next you need to ask yourself if you have neglected your support system of family and friends. If you have, get done meet ups organized. You need these people. So fix whatever needs fixed. It’ll give you something to do and things to think about.
Finally, you need to attend to your self worth, self esteem, self respect and self love. It’s all very well saying that, but how you make that a reality is to use the list that you made about yourself,
to treat yourself. Treat yourself well. You are not a victim, not a martyr. You don’t put up with or make do. Start by having a therapeutic clear out. Test yourself to whatever it is you like, a facial, manicure, tattoo, clothes… Whatever. As much as you can afford.
Treating yourself well is virtually important. It’s not silly. It is what you deserve. There’s no guilt. People will see you that way, people will pick up the vibe. People only love people who can love themselves. People will treat you with respect because you treat yourself with respect. It’s your only life. One chance. Don’t waste it.
Do not enter into discussions or negotiable on the back foot, when weak, hurt, down. Only enter from a position of strength. You cannot be needy, you can be living your life. All you offer a relationship is yourself, your fabulous self. Who wants to take on a pitiful self, a loser?
All this should only take a week or so if you start on your list right away. Get used to treating yourself right, eating well, sleeping soundly. In a month you will be over this. Good luck!
Why are you concentrating on her? She didn’t cheat on you, HE DID. Yes she sucks but from your point of view, he sucks more.
If she wants to keep seeing a cheater, that’s her problem. Which will probably come back to bite her when he eventually cheats on her. He’s her problem now.
Be glad you are rid of him. Learn what this is trying to teach you, get away from them both, and move on.
She gave you a gift. She helped open your eyes and took the problem away. It doesn’t feel good now, but you are the winner in this situation. Grieve the relationship and let yourself move forward.
Always remember: HOW YOU GET THEM, IS HOW YOU LOSE THEM‼️
He cheated on you with her. And the second he falls for her, she’ll maybe cheat on him. Unless he’s a repeat offender & cheats on her too.. conveniently moving on to the “third”.
It’s not her fault he cheated. He CHOSE to cheat. Why do you want to keep him or care about her?
Be glad you found out before you were married.
The best revenge is to live a successful life and not care about him. Try to get rid of the hate and hurt, that just means he is still affecting your life.
You seem to be focused on her and what she’s going to do when you’re the only one you can control. Who cares what she said?
She didn’t betray you. She didn’t even know you. Your focus should be on him and what you’re going to do. He is not your person.
Let them live in their toxicity alone without you. It really is the best punishment.
While the results are obviously less than ideal, you should remind yourself for the rest of your life that YOU put in an honest and sincere effort towards that relationship. YOU are not at fault. YOU did not fail. Disappointment and depression is normal here, but be proud of who you are and your intentions. He doesn’t deserve you.
Doesn’t matter what he does, or she does…
So long as you were smart enough to walk away.
Oh this probably why he didn’t do anything for yalls 2 year anniversary…he was cheating.
She didn’t win a prize, They’ll cheat with you then on you.
You have not been his focus for some time now- and you should have. Even his only concern. He wants freedom to “be happy.” So it’s your turn now to be happy with yourself or with someone else who will value your love, loyalty and respect.
Thank him for leaving before you got married and this ended in divorce after years of cheating, lying, disrespect and wasting your time. The following time will be painful but develop a plan to stay busy, make new friends, do the things you haven’t done.
Get tested and block him on every app. Distance yourself physically and emotionally and move on. You deserve better.