I honestly don’t know where things started to go wrong between my husband and me. Looking back, I can only recall us going on one proper date when we first got together, and after that, nothing. Whenever I try to suggest doing something together, he usually declines. Either saying he’s not interested or that it’s a waste of money. And when we do go out, it’s almost always with friends.
For example, if I express interest in going somewhere, or if he finally suggests an outing, he tends to invite others along or asks me to check if our mutual friends want to come too. It’s disheartening, especially when he’s turned down the very same idea when it was just me suggesting it only to later be fine with it if someone else brings it up. (His reasoning behind this when I bring it up is that he knew i wanted to go all this while hence why he agreed to the rest but I cannot get why it’s only when the others suggest that’s when he agrees to it??!?)
I genuinely don’t know how to approach him about this anymore. He’s very quick to defend himself or counter anything I bring up, and I’m exhausted from trying to explain how I feel or ending up in another argument.
I’m scared that if this pattern continues, my feelings for him might shift from love to resentment, and that’s the last thing I want. But I also don’t know how much longer I can keep feeling like this without it taking a deeper toll.
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I think what might be happening, is that your husband sees you and him as a single unit. Best buddies that are always together. So when asked if he wants to go out, he’ll think “But we already hangout fine everyday at home. Why spend a ton of money on a restaurant when the social dynamics don’t change?”
That’s a very dumb way of looking at it. Yet a lot of guys kind of lose romance once they get the girl. Cause in their mind they’re partners already and don’t have to maintain the relationship.
Maybe you can talk to him about it?
Have you tried expressing to him that you want to break the routine with him? Do something different together.