34M and 30F. Advice needed

r/

My girlfriend has this friend (lets call her S) that encourages her to cheat on me with other men for money as S is also doing so with multiple men.

She did cheat on me once (or at least i caught it only once) and her reasoning was that she needed money and i was not there for her thats why she slept with the men(s) for money.

Before that, i caught her talking to multiple men on dating apps twice.

I forgave her, told her that i never wanted her to see S ever again, and ensured that my girlfriend does not have to worry about money (i gave her $500 monthly) to supplement her income even though im not doing so well myself.

Everything was smooth sailing for 2 years onwards.

Last week, she went out with her other friends and admitted to me that she met S as well.

I was furious that she lied and she was adamant that she knows what she is doing. (Tip: she don’t)

Now she wants to meet her again. And i told her my concerns but was brushed aside with her saying that i can meet my own friends too.

I love every moment we spend together. I dont mind that she is not rich, not educated and dont have the most attractive physique. But why is she so hung up on protecting S?

Is my demand for her to stop seeing the person that is toxic and damaging to our relationship too much to ask for?

Comments

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  2. AcrobaticLanguage517 Avatar

    You’re getting cheated on and giving money to that person? Stop for a second and think about this. You are intersecting with people that are engaging in prostituion….the whole thing is red flag city. Get in touch with your base values and figure out what you are willing and not willing to tolerate in your relationships, personally, I think you deserve more and STOP GIVING PEOPLE YOUR MONEY!

  3. tigerseyemardov Avatar

    This isn’t good. Have you considered therapy? There’s several things glaring about this:

    1: “I dont mind that she is not rich, not educated and dont have the most attractive physique” why does that matter as a description of someone you love?

    2: She already cheated!!! and you forgave her and you continue to give her $500 monthly? Um why? Are you sure that youre not a sidepiece or situationship?

  4. comama4 Avatar

    You are paying for a girlfriend that you don’t find attractive, she isn’t educated or wealthy. And she cheats and lies… What exactly is the appeal?

    You cannot control another person. You can only control what you do. If you cannot live with her choices, you need to leave.

  5. Creative_Recover Avatar

    Your GF has an awful character and you’re choosing to ignore that in return for companionship. What exactly do you expect in this relationship? 

  6. theFunCouple91 Avatar

    Why did you forgive her in the first place? She was acting as a prostitute. Taking money for sex? Is your self esteem really that low?

  7. Miserable_Ant4916 Avatar

    Have some respect for yourself and move on. This is fake right? Why do men not respect themselves. You deserve this dude

  8. maybeafuturecpa Avatar

    You’re paying your girlfriend so she won’t cheat on you but then blaming your girlfriends friend for it when she cheats? Thats crazy thought. Your girlfriend is a cheater and just uses men for what she can get from them and while S may validate her, S is not forcing her to do anything. If I had a friend suggest I cheat for money I still wouldn’t do it. We all have choices and your girlfriend makes bad ones.

  9. JhonasVe Avatar

    This is just stupid, please tell me is just a social experiment or something…

  10. chobani_gurt Avatar

    what it sounds like is she’s using you and you’re allowing it lol. you’re basically a trick. you give her a monthly allowance and she goes and does whatever she wants. you are in a relationship, she is not. she’s actually a pr*stitute and i can guarantee you she’s still sleeping with men for money when your allowance runs out. i’m not trying to hurt your feelings, just giving you the raw truth. & she’s still friends with S because S hooks her up with other tricks that give her money in exchange for relations. you clearly look down on her too because what even is that second to last sentence?? this whole situation is a mess. go get you some therapy and separate yourself from her my goodness. you’re 34! you should know better! 

  11. PhotoGuy342 Avatar

    Even if she rented out her body only once, isn’t that textbook prostitution?

    And accepting $500/month — isn’t that a continuation of that prostitution?

    If the stipends were to cease, would she stick around?

    Sorry to put it this way but this is how it looks from my perspective?

  12. nemmalur Avatar

    You don’t need this in your life… do you?

  13. Specific_Counter_527 Avatar

    You have every right asking her to not be involved with that person. Especially if it’s destroying your relationship with her. If she’s not willing to bend then maybe it’s time to let go of her just my opinion

  14. vgirl90 Avatar

    …. you’re paying a cheater not to cheat. What advice would you give a friend who had this being done to them? You shouldn’t have to ban your partner from anyone or anything. You should be with someone you can trust. You aren’t…..

  15. SeniorConsultantKyle Avatar

    You’re just one of many guys paying this woman for sex.

    But in your case you pay more for the “girlfriend experience”

  16. inyourposthistory Avatar

    Damn, brother. You’re getting flat out disrespected, cheated on, AND you still handing money over to her? What kind of leash does this woman have on you, because GOD DAMN lol

  17. girl807349 Avatar

    If this is real- break up with your gf

  18. Priapism911 Avatar

    Op, stop giving her $6000 a year. Second, encourage her to sleep with other men for money and tell her to pay you back. Help her find dudes.

    Tell S she owes you too and take some of her money also.

    Reddit thinks sex work is OK, and people shouldn’t be judged on that. Since being a pimp is part of sex work, they should be fine with you too.

  19. Apprehensive_Bee4543 Avatar

    This is not a good relationship and you are being financially abused.

  20. loeloebee Avatar

    There is no way you can trust her. Is this the kind of life you want?

  21. IntrepidDifference84 Avatar

    Dude get away from this women

  22. Tal_Tos_72 Avatar

    So OP. Your girlfriend is a sex worker. It’s that simple. If she’s taking money for sex then she’s a prostitute.

    Yup her friend might have got her into it but she did it

    If you are happy to stay with summertime who wants this lifestyle fine. But if not why are you wasting your time focusing on the friendship when the real issue is your GF chose money for sex over you

  23. According_Bluejay380 Avatar

    Bro why are you still with her? She didn’t take her lesson, she still talks to people with negative impact her friend S. Just leave her, move on and find someone who values you