Disclaimer: please be kind as my family is in a difficult situation
Hello fellow redditors,
I’d like to see if any others have been in a similar situation and could weigh in. I am very lost in how to help my sibling who has been lying about his career/education for years. Lets just call this sibling “bob” for the sake of this post. Basically bob grew up heavily bullied and always had a hard time fitting in. My parents pushed him towards a particular career for financial security and he was seemingly making progress in his education and then working in said field.
Over the last few years I got very suspicious of his behaviors and how he seemed to always be vague in his answers about his career and schooling. He was always more introverted but became more and more of a shut in as the years passed. He is Constantly on his phone or watching tv and not seeming to do anything productive with his life. I’d also like to add that He has been obese/overweight for most of his adult life and has dealt with a few serious injuries.
Anyway, My suspicions reached a breaking point and I essentially tracked his whereabouts and found out he was lying about his career. He confessed that he lied about working and that he would get back on track, and after trusting him for 8 months, we are back in the same position where he again lied about his career (he said that he would finish his schooling and work towards getting a job, but that was a lie).
Now I don’t know how far back the lies go. But this whole situation just seems too much for even a family to handle. I have tried to explain to him the value of money many times and how he can have freedom to do what he wants if he earns a living for himself (my parents have been supporting him financially his whole life). He did start working a small gig job in transportation, but that is a very part time thing. Now I know one option is to kick him out and let him figure it out (which trust me has crossed my mind), but We come from an Asian background and its typically not a common thing in asian culture to do so (my parents don’t have it in them to do it). He is now 36 with no serious job prospects and we don’t know how far back the rabbit hole goes with his lies. We are actively seeking mental health services to help get him out of this hole, but i’d love to hear from others who could provide some guidance for us. ANY HELP WOULD BE APPRECIATED
Tl;dr 36 year old sibling (probably depressed) has been lying to me and my Asian family for years and is seemingly going nowhere in life. He has no job prospects and we are financially supporting him. We don’t have it in us to kick him out and are actively seeking mental health services to help him. We don’t know what else we can do and are hoping someone could weigh in to provide guidance.