Hello community. I (36M) and my wife (33F) have been together for 7 years, married for 3 w/children. The celebrity she’s “obsessed” with is Morgan Wallen. I use the term obsessed lightly because it has never seemed like an unhealthy thing. She loves his music, finds him attractive, and that’s about it. She brings him up occasionally and light heartedly to anyone who will listen and she references him as “Daddy” not only around me but at me sometimes. I laughed it off at first. But a few months ago I told her how I no longer thought it was cute and that it made me feel uncomfortable.
We are pretty secure in our relationship and we both have access to each others phones as we aren’t hiding anything from each other and we are not jealous types (mostly). Long story short I was rocking one of our babies and her phone was open on her instagram DM’s so I did a quick scroll through her chats and saw she attempted to reach out to Morgan Wallen and “shoot her shot”. This was during a bachelorette party she went on the other week and I’m sure alcohol was involved in the decision to DM. It was nothing too personal/intimate. No pictures were sent or anything vulgar. But I couldn’t help shake the feeling of being extremely uncomfortable by it. She was definitely shooting a shot and opening a line to another man. No matter how unlikely it would be that he would see her message let alone respond, I just haven’t quite been able to drop it out of my mind. It still feels like infidelity to me. I know the impossibility of her hooking up with a celebrity from an Instagram DM and I’m sure that would be her excuse to me to make it seem ok. “He would never respond to me, so what I did was harmless”. However, I can’t stop playing scenarios in my head about what would happen if he actually did respond, how far would she go?
I haven’t brought it up to her and don’t know if I even should. Am I over reacting? Do I bring it up to her and let her know it made me uncomfortable? Should I be worried that this behavior might lead to something worse?
Comments
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We’d like to take this time to remind users that:
We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors
We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.
Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)
ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.
No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users “friend-zoned”, referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me’s, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.
All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don’t get a free pass.
Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned.
What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, “body counts” or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.
If you have any questions, please message the mods
This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Wow yeah she tried to cheat on you.
My wife would never act like that or she would cease to be my wife. Not controlling her, just a fact.
it is cheating, might be light but still is. ask her how comfortable would she feel if you were behaving in same manners. draw the line now or it keeps pushing.
>Am I over reacting?
No, you’re under reacting.
Idk maybe ask her when she dmed the dude was it for shits and giggles? I mean it seems a bit silly to me that you’re jealous of Morgan wallen. Like obviously she knows that he’s not going to dm her back.
it is the intention for me, it sounds like you told her the way she is talking about and being about him is making you unconformable and she is still doing it. and now drunk or not she sent a message in the hopes that it leads to something. that to me in intent to step out of the marriage no matter how unlikely, i would talk to her and confront her about it and just be honest with her, i dont think its a overreaction but i also think something needs to be said
Yeah no. U dont refer to other dude even celeb crushes as “daddy”. The fk.
Yeah that’s awful. Shoot your shot ? As a married woman?!?! Like what!
Also any grown person that is obsessed with celebrities is just weird in general. Like who has time to know when these people were born? Their animals names? Kids names? It’s just weird.
You are completely under reacting. Who’s to say she won’t “shoot her shot” with a wish version of Morgan.
I stand by this quote and this is my second time sharing this-
“Having a celebrity crush is basically saying you’ll cheat if the right person asked”
take it as you will.
I’d be concerned that she finds Morgan Wallen attractive in any way, shape, or form. He gives me the ick. You are under reacting that she tried to shoot her shot with him.
Just use the golden rule. How would she feel if you did that?
Just googled him. If the dude wasn’t a country pop singer he looks like he would be the assistant manager at an Applebees. Absolutely mid level scrub with a mullet and bad facial hair.
The thing I’d be most mad about is how much respect you’ve lost for her at being obsessed with such a mid chode.
edit: Also I’m not buying the “her phone was open to her instagram DMs” lol. Just admit you went and snooped.
The n-word guy??
As a woman I find this hilarious. She was probably crushing on him with her girlfriends at the party and was doing something funny. I really wouldn’t worry about her sneaking off with Morgan Wallen 🤣
what a childish, horrible woman
Don’t believe just because he’s a celebrity that he won’t respond. I have several celebrity friends and well….just don’t think it can’t happen because it sure as shit can.
1st it’s morgan wallen who is gross so her taste already sucks & it’s a red flag.
2nd the main thing is that you told her how you felt and she’s still doing this. it’d be different if she said he’s hot and made a joke about him being her celebrity crush a few times but then when you said it makes you feel weird then she should’ve stopped. but she’s continued to do it which is disrespecting you. and dming seems weird to me although she was drinking. i definitely think you need to make it clear that if this continues you no longer wanna be in the relationship. and obviously if you already feel disrespected enough by this you have the right to break up.
Marriage counseling or divorce.
The cliché saying “it’s the thought that counts” is very much applicable here. She intends to cheat, it has occurred to her that she wouldn’t mind stepping out on your marriage and has actually attempted to do so. Him being a celebrity is irrelevant because it’s what he represents. He is another man that she wants to fuck, period. You need to actually start taking this seriously and stop thinking of the impossibility in the situation and really look at her character.
She going to be dating a scammer when she gets older
I mean, she’s trying to get with another guy, so yeah. I don’t see how fame factors in. To.me, it’s just another man.
If he did respond, she would have banged him. You know what to do.
Updateme
A man needs respect and loyalty to sustain love. While she didn’t physically cheat, she certainly disrespected you in an attempt to be disloyal. Until you feel you’ve got the respect you’re going to have a tough time sustaining love.
I would never do this to my husband. 38m and 37f. We all have celebrity crushes, it’s normal. We are very secure in our marriage, this has nothing to do with that. I would never speak about my celeb crush like this and if my husband spoke about his in that manner I think (know) my feelings would be hurt- will never find out because he also would never do this. So I’d have been mad about this long before the DM. Under reacting. How would she like it if you were up in some celebrity females DMs shooting your shot and calling them the equivalent of Daddy? Not great, I’m assuming.
Dude is trash. OP, I’m not saying your wife is a racist, but she apparently has no problem trying to bang one.
You should dump her for having such horrible taste.
Love is not possible without trust and respect. She flushed both of those down the toilet when she tried to DM him.
I have such intense secondhand embarrassment for your wife.
IMO, you’d be justified in dumping her for liking his music in the first place let alone trying to cheat on you with him.