37M and 31F just need someone to talk to

I currently sit at my lowest point in life. Just two weeks ago I had hit my breaking point which in turn I voluntarily checked myself in a mental hospital. I believe it did me a bit of damage somewhere along the lines of PTSD it was a horrible experience for me. The reason I came to the point of going is because I was threatened by my partner. She told me if I don’t go to the hospital then we’re done for good. I felt hopeless at that point. Well her father and law and her volunteered to take me since I couldn’t fit into the back of the patrol car. We made it about an hour into the 2 hour trip and stopped at a store. Mind you I have horrible anxiety riding with people due to some trauma from my childhood. The whole way there I was battling my typical norm which is scary body sensations that come with health anxiety. In the parking lot of Buc-ee’s I had the the worse panic attack of my life. I felt like I literally died for a moment. It seemed like forever but they told me it was only a few minutes. From that point I was transported via ambulance to the nearest ER. Upon arrival and vitals they then confirmed it was indeed a panic attack which I still feel it was more. I was giving a 1ml iv of Ativan and some other fluids. Come midnight I was finally transported by sacred heart to The Cross Creek mental hospital in Austin Texas. I was at that point a nervous wreck. I didn’t know what to expect which I think contributed a great deal to the attack I had, that an the fact I had already been to for 30 hours without sleep on my reg dose of seroquel the night before than a Valium the hospital before my journey began as well as a hydroxyzine. My life has been such a struggle lately. I can’t even point fingers and say it’s all her cause I have contributed to some factors. We now have 4 kids ages 14, 7, 1 year, and a newborn. Due to my debilitating mental health I have lost my job of 9 years and I’m currently unemployed. At this point I feel working isn’t even an option. She’s never had to work and when she attempted it was always short lived. Now that I’m not able to provide she has grown even colder to me. Just two months ago my older brother drove his truck into an abandoned building which in turn ended his life. I feel almost like I’m going through a curse or spiritual attack I can’t really even call it. I’ve been on seroquel for a month and a half now, I wish I would’ve never started it. In that short time span I have been to the emergency room over 18 times. I have never in my life frequented the hospital that much. Now I’m in the process of tapering off that antipsychotic which I feel I should’ve never been prescribed just for anxiety in the first place. Through this whole journey even before the seroquel my partner has been so cold to me if I don’t want to go place due to extreme anxiety or mental breakdowns she turns so cold and threatens me of leaving or whatever else. I just wish she would be more considerate of my feelings, I’ve spent years catering to her every want and need and how she felt. I have somehow built a wall to against telling her how I really feel. I believe over time this has done some severe damage to me mentally. I do everything for her even in the midst of my battle I still do all the cleaning, laundry, cooking, changing diapers and whatever else I can. I have been freaking out a lot more lately since the hospital visit and I’m just lost in my head now. I haven’t got proper treatment and really feel that med has done me a lot more harm than good. I just don’t know where to turn or what to do anymore. I never dreamed my life would be this hard. My last kid which I love with all my heart wasn’t planned. She swore up and down she was on birth control when she really wasn’t. She lives a one sided life where we can only normally go to her families but not mine. She is very jealous of my sister for some reason and doesn’t like my mom either. She has broken me down so much sometimes I don’t know if it was really the anxiety or living with her. She stays in a bad mood 24/7 and even worse mood when things don’t go her way. Not to mention she’s very hateful to my 7 year old son and treats him like crap. She constantly has mood swings and I never know what mood she will be in this makes life so much harder for me. I really feel like I should leave but I fear for my children. I feel like she forced me into the mental hospital as a defense if I were to ever want to fight to have custody of my kids. She has no drive or ambition in life and feels like we have to leave the house and go to her family’s hour round trip everyday. Am I blowing things out of proportion or does anyone see a problem here? I haven’t really went into detail the nature and severity of my anxiety but just know on a scale of 1-10 mine would sit at a 20 now. It’s been hell and I feel like I’m deteriorating to the stress 3 months ago I weighed 255 pounds fast forward to now I’m 210 and I haven’t tried to lose weight at all. I’m breaking down and have nobody to turn to and can’t function in life no more and don’t know what to do. Any advice is greatly appreciated and I’m so alone and feel broken. Thank you for taking time to read this. I just had to vent.

TL;DR: I just don’t know what to do in my situation anymore. It’s getting worse each year.