I’m in a 5 year relationship with my girlfriend We have 2 kids together. She has 1 of her own I’m stepping up as a father figure to her. I don’t know if it’s me or her. I pay all the bills I don’t drink I don’t smoke I don’t go out I do go to the gym and I don’t cheat never had. She works from home I work as a Hazmat Driver. Get up at 12:00am Clock in at 1:00am 12Hr shifts. Long story short idk if I’m dealing with a narcissist. I feel like I can’t express my feelings as a man to her because I feel like it doesn’t matter to her and she’s judged me before and used it against me in the past. When we argue it’s like I can’t communicate with her because she shuts down everything for me. I can’t explain myself. She faults me for everything in the house and when I try to tell her the truth I can’t even start my explanation without her saying “Hmm yea sure play victim” I’m a mellow guy hardly get angry but she’s pushed me to the edge of my patience before to the point where I yelled at her and said some disrespectful words she brought out something in me that I never seen before. She’s told me before “Learn how to be a man”. That day I had Driven for 14 hours 30 min labor work as a hazmat driver came home tired asf Knowing the next day I had another long drive. Her character is really strong I feel like when she speaks to me she sees me as an enemy. I don’t know if it’s because her pass relationship that was harsh and I’m the one dealing with that grudge of hers. I feel like I’m walking on egg shells with this women. I’ve felt disrespected in public before. She’s called me dumb out loud in public for something I didn’t do. Any opinions?
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you do too much for her and her child to be valued as less than a person
Walking on eggshells is never a sign of a healthy relationship. If you can’t get to a marriage counselor together to learn how to be good with communication especially during fights it is only going to get uglier. You don’t want those littles to think that is normal behavior. You also don’t want to be up all night fighting then driving hazardous chemicals around the next day. Spend the money to figure things out now or call it quits. Good luck.
That’s not healthy constant disrespect and shutting you down is emotional abuse not just strong character.
Ugh! I hate this for you! My husband used to be so scared to open up to me because of his ex. I had to and still have to sometimes remind him that men are humans too! You’re allowed to have emotions! He gets embarrassed to cry in front of me and I hate it.
You’re at a point where you both have to recommit to being more thoughtful and patient with each other. If you don’t agree to trying to improve this you’ll stay stuck.
Either NPD or BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder). BPD is more commonly diagnosed in women. I would check out the sub BPDLovedOnes & see if that resonates with your situation. There is a difference between someone with BPD vs someone that is just emotionally immature vs someone that is just an abusive partner. They all can be present or separate.