I am an old woman, not dead though. I suddenly realized my 72-year old business acquaintance is actually more than that (a few months ago). It’s been a long time since the feeling seemed to be mutual chemistry. Never have I even gently nudged any possible relationship forward.
We have only visited in his shop or sometimes mine. My friend is a man I respect and want to continue a friendship with. I want spend more time with this man that I enjoy being with. There’s no part of me that wants to “pounce” like a cougar (as sexy as he might be).
Older men – what would be welcome and what’s over the line? My adult children have already weighed in – Son: “Do not invite him over to swim in the pool.” Daughter: “Bring him something to eat.” As an aside, both of us have Southern Italian heritage.
THANKS FOR YOUR INPUT EVERYONE! Wise words and several chuckles – the saga will continue and for those interested-I will definitely post an update.
😇
Comments
Hi OP,
We don’t typically allow dating advice and you may not get the best answers here, but this was too sweet for me to say no to, so have at it.
I personally say you invite him over for a home cooked meal and then jump his bones just like a cougar would, but best of luck either way.
You only live once.
When you get pizza dough…you make pizza 🤷🏻♂️
I’m close to your age. My advice would be to be as open and straightforward with him as you can be. Hints and mixed messages are not a good strategy. Something like “Hey, this is kind of out of the blue and you don’t have to answer me right away, but i find you very attractive and think we have good chemistry. If you think you might be open to a romantic/sexual relationship I’d be interested in giving it a try.”
Male and 75 years young here….I would love a 70 year old lady to approach me in any fashion! Just sayin
> There’s no part of me that wants to “pounce” like a cougar (as sexy as he might be).
Mind clarifying this?
As said, be straightforward. Bearing around the bush sucks at any age.
I’d be sooo grateful if a woman gently touched my hand and said something like, “I’d like to spend more time with you” while looking me right in the eye. Direct, gentle.
The older I get, the more direct approach I like. I would just ask him out to dinner
I can’t speak for him, but I will relay a story regarding a former teacher. She’d been single her entire life (well into her sixties). Her mom passed away a couple of years after I graduated. She got married to a gentleman from her church fairly shortly after. They’ve been together twelve years now and travel frequently. It seems they have something lovely going on. If you think the chemistry is there, maybe it’s worth trying.
Take him a plate of food and say you just thought maybe he’d be hungry… I also needed an excuse to come down here and see you. This was the first thing I thought of.
Playful and coy but straightforward enough that it’s clear you wanted to see him. Then you can feel out whether you should follow up at some point after he’s done eating, and suggest that maybe next time he can come to your place for a full meal. One won’t have to warm up in the microwave.
Ask him to do something that is not in your friend repertoire. What I mean is that if you’ve had coffee together before / regularly don’t ask him to do that, invite him to go to a museum or movie in the afternoon on day neither if you are working.
If you have never sat and had coffee together, that is a great option to meet at a Cafe on the weekend. See if it still feels good in a social setting, then tell him you would like to do something again like dinner – and invite him (consider paying both times). Take it from there.
Tell him “I would like to spend more time with you, possible a meal, potentially leading to coitus and more”
I think you are overthinking all of this. He has probably been dreaming about some P in V action with you for a long time. It doesn’t matter what type of activity you invite him to. Just make your intentions clear. We men can be pretty stupid.
Invite him over or ask him if he would like to cook his favorite meal together. Assuming both are healthy, some wine and soft background music.. than woo woo him with your charm. Where it goes from there is in the minds of two adults..
Do what every man wish’s women would do, be direct with them and not resort to hints, clues, signals, etc. Ask if he would like to have dinner one night, don’t even call it a date, just dinner and talk outside of the usual context of business. Worst case scenario he says no and you have clarity and can keep an eye out for someone else that may catch your eye.
Guys are notoriously bad at taking hints and our ability only worsens with age, so i think be as direct and obvious as possible. “I enjoy spending time with you and I’d like to do it more if you’re interested too” or some paraphrasing of that.
As someone else accurately said, *And remember, guys are oblivious to subtlety.
Being upfront and direct, where your intentions are clear and unmistakable, is the best way. Good luck.*
We are sooo oblivious!