Update: AITAH for leaving one of my brothers kids out of a trip but taking the rest?

Hey everyone. I don’t know why I’m updating with this, but things have gotten pretty nuts. I wasn’t even going to update until after the trip (which is still a GO with JUST the five of us and will stay that way), but it’s just a full on circus now. Unfortunately, my brother and Jenny have not changed one bit, and there have been multiple instances since my last post alone that they have shown their preference to Daisy over the other three.

I said before I don’t do social media drama. Or drama in general, but especially in public. So I have been ignoring Jenny’s little vaguebooking campaign, but like I said, she had family and friends supporting her on it.

Except one cousin, who messaged me a few days ago and asked for a call. I reminded her (and just reminding you all before you start asking me why I don’t do short trips with Daisy!) that I live very far away in a different timezone so we set up a time to facetime. Honestly, I kind of remember this woman, but not really. She and Jenny aren’t close but she was at some pre-baby events. And it turns out Jenny and Jason have been lying to my family about their money issues. Jenny’s parents (she’s an only child) have not gone broke, in fact they’re doing fine (they are one of the few older people who weren’t sucked into facebook btw, lucky for her while my mom is sharing slop with me on the daily but i still love her). They cut Jenny off! She’s simply been lying to everyone – including my parents! and saying that her parents wish they could still help but they can’t. They told her months ago the money stream was over.

Why now? So the story goes that a few years back, Jenny complained to my mom that she had a “16 year sentence” with “Tiffany’s kids” and even the boys leaving at 18 wouldn’t matter since Hannah was only a few years older than Daisy. My mom apparently said something along the lines of ‘anyone would be lucky to have Hannah in the house, if she’s affecting your marriage so much she can live with us.’ It was kind of a snarky comment from mom, but apparently Jenny held onto it like a prayer. When my oldest nephew Jace graduated from high school last year, he was told he couldn’t keep living there, and they’ve already told my middle nephew Jeff the same.

Jenny’s parents very rarely see the older kids since Jason and Jenny don’t bring them when they visit and her parents don’t travel much and don’t like coming to my hometown. So according to the cousin, they weren’t fully aware of the issues, and were under the assumption that the older three preferred spending the time that my brother and his 2nd wife and daughter visit them with my parents, which they respected. But APPARENTLY Jenny basically had been yapping to them and let it slip out how in just over a year she’d have her life back and her stepkids would be out of the house. Her parents asked, what about Hannah? And she told them that my parents WANT to raise Hannah because they know how it’s affecting her marriage.

That didn’t sit right with Jenny’s mom (call her Pam), so she called my mom after they left, they aren’t close or anything but do talk every now and again. My mom was so confused by what she was saying, they are on a fixed income and have only a 2 bedroom place now, of course if they needed to, the kids could stay with them but it’s not ideal. So (and remember this is MONTHS ago) Pam thought maybe she misheard, but my mom let it slip that Jace already stays with them when he comes back from school, and Pam was confused about why he wouldn’t stay at my brother’s. When my mom told her they kicked him out, Pam was like oh wow that’s crazy and the conversation ended (to my mom). BUT apparently (this is all hearsay obviously) Pam called Jenny up and told her, how dare you take our money at your age while telling an 18 year old they’re an adult and to figure it out?! I don’t know how the call went but it ended with Pam and her husband completely cutting Jenny and Jason off financially. Her cousin said they were sending them TENS of THOUSANDS of dollars a year and GET THIS – they truly didn’t know about the inequality.

I didn’t believe the cousin at this, how could they not know? She says that while her parents love her, Jenny is not close with them and had basically lied, saying that MY parents (who again have never had a lot of money and are now on a fixed income) and I were spoiling the oldest three and ignoring Daisy. Even before I was taking them on trips, she’d make up vacations they were on for why they ‘couldn’t’ go on trips with them. Jenny told them I was paying for them to attend the private school that Daisy was attending – when Pam did some digging and found out Jace did NOT graduate from that private school, she cut off paying tuition for it (she was going to continue that). Apparently she refuses to take her daughter’s calls, and is refusing to listen to family members defending Jenny. These family members supporting her (a few aunts and their kids) already have beef with Pam over money, and they are supporting Jenny.

So, I know she had talked to my mom but I had to ask if Pam even knows the half of all of it? I told the cousin a few things, and she seemed shocked, and asked if Pam could call me. I told her definitely and the next day she did – we’ve spoken before obviously, but she’s a pretty introverted woman so I wasn’t sure what to expect. But she just seemed exhausted. She acknowledged that Jenny was the result of her parenting failures, but says she was always a difficult child. I was like, girl she’s over 40, childhood has BEEN over. She laughed at that and apologized about everything I’ve had to do for my oldest niblings, I assured her that I WANTED to do things for them but I appreciate the apology. She said she will be setting the record straight with her family members.

Unfortunately for them, Jenny and Jason’s little ‘nuclear family’ life they’ve been LARPing for the last few years is over. Her parents will no longer be funding them. Jenny has gotten a job but a decade out of the workforce really screwed her over. I feel bad for Daisy, but hopefully things will have to be more equal over there. Obviously this isn’t over, and my parents and I are going to be keeping a close eye on everything and open communication with the kids, but I can’t say I feel bad for Jenny and Jason.