I (24/F) am absolutely crazy feral for my Ex (27/M). I’m concerned for my own mental health at this point. We broke up a few months ago and were only dating about a year. I am still crying about loosing him every day. And I think it’s because I am sexually obsessed with this man. I know this is going to sound like a crazy porn fantasy but I am seriously concerned because I’ve never felt this way in my entire life and I dont know how to get over it anymore. It’s like my body is obsessed with him. When I was with him, we had crazy great sexual chemistry and sex. Just looking at his hands, smelling him, hearing his voice.. He just had to be near me and I could feel my legs shake. We were long distance but ever since I met him I haven’t even looked at a man twice and we had some sort of sexual interaction every day. Just thinking of him made me so wet, I had and still have to change my panties sometimes. He is good looking, great manners, very charming so it makes sense for me to think he’s hot. But the feeling I have is way beyond that. Its like my body is on fire and I need him and i genuinely don’t know what to do because we obviously broke up and I want to respect that and to respect myself. But I am in physical pain, because even when I pleasure myself I cannot find relief. At this point I am just crying, i am scared of my feelings and I just cannot process being this attracted to another human being – who also broke up with me! I’ve been feeling this crazy attraction since I met him so it has nothing to do with the break up, but I still feel like i am going through physical withdrawal like my drug of choice was taken away from me and I am shattered. I haven’t had Sex with anyone else because I am sure I would start to cry and compare and just not be attracted at all (i tried dating..). What am I supposed to do? How can I get over this? Has anyone ever experienced this?
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Interrupt the patten with something that disgusts you.
Make him disgusting – whatever that is for you.
Disgust is the key to breaking this.
Are you occupying your time with hobbies, exercise, friends/family after the breakup? Getting over someone usually just takes time. You dated for a year, so it’s no surprise you’re still not over him now.
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I don’t know what the answer here is. But you are not alone. For me sexual chemistry is the priority in a relationship, and I am in a similar situation to you in that he broke up with me and I am really struggling without him.
I have no advice. I am still being loyal to him. I just want you to know you aren’t the only one.
The only real solution is to find someone better. Just try not to punish other guys for not measuring up. Absolutely do not marry a guy who doesn’t measure up. That would just be cruel.
The only advice I will give you….think of 1 thing besides sex that annoys you about him and just put that in your mind when you think about him..
Off topic but have you ever considered writing? You’re very good at story telling I’m hooked 🤣
you dont actually say anything good about him as a person or the relationship really other than just how much u liked the sex…..honestly i find this bizarre. it also wasnt a horribly long relationship, only one year, and it was long distance for much of it? so all in all not even much time was spent with him.
ive heard people unable to move on from breakups for months or years but it was normally because of a huge deep emotional attachment, you might need some therapy here.
I’ve been there. I am there. It’s painful, and I won’t pretend you won’t miss him, because you will. But right now, you need space to heal, and that means being single for a while. Block him on everything. If you run into him in person, walk away. No explanations. No second thoughts.
Over time, the ache will fade. And when your mind drifts back to him, remind yourself of the truth: he didn’t love you the way you want to be loved. Even sex isn’t love, and you deserve more than crumbs. Don’t fantasize about him whenever you realize you are thinking about him thing about something awful like missing cats, traffic or math.
Also, I have OCD so it causes me to ruminate. If that happens to you, try behavioral cognitive therapy techniques.
Look up limerance. Go to therapy. Good luck!
Research “limerance”
Time heals all. Have you tried a vibrator? It might help pass the time.
So just go find a guy with big veiny hands who is good looking and smart / richer than him? That should solve it. Seems obvious … that relationship is over and needs a clean cut unless you’re ready to beg him on your knees and let him have full control of you even if he’s got another chick. If that doesn’t scratch the itch I’d bet my ass you’ve got very niche / specific daddy issues or something and should have a counselor work that out (they can and you’ll feel better afterward)