My fiancé is a male and 22. I am a female and 25. We have been together for a little over a year and are getting married in November. Throughout our relationship, money has always been a bit of a frustration for me. The first couple dates he didn’t pay for me and while I questioned that to myself I ultimately decided it was fine because I knew I would have declined anyway as I wanted to keep it casual. It was more the not even thinking to ask from him that bothered me. Over the course of our relationship he does pay for meals and things at times and he has bought me small gifts here and there. But overall I feel like I spend much more money on him or we split things. Whatever. That’s fine. I spend money on him because I want to and I don’t necessarily expect anything in return because of that.
But! often he will ask me to pay for a meal when we’re out or he’ll make dinner at my house and ask me to pay for groceries. Or just ask me to buy things for him. Last night he asked if I wanted to go out to dinner with him and his friends and then asked me if I would pay for his meal. I made light of it but I told him no because there has to be some kind of boundary here.
Today I messaged him about our engagement shoot reminding him that we agreed to split the cost and made sure that he would be able to pay the 2nd half this week as I’ve already paid the first. He replied that I made him sound like he’s broke. To which I jokingly reminded him that he asked me to pay for his dinner last night. He said that he’s not broke, he’s just cheap. To which I then said, “Oh so you’ve got the money you’d just rather have me pay for you. I see, I see lol.” His response was that I live at home and I make more money than him. Yes, I do live at home but I literally make $2/hr more than him. I don’t feel like this justifies him expecting me to pay for his things. What is your advice for me on how to handle this situation?
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Ew, why would you want to marry a man who can’t financially take care of you? You should want a man who takes initiative and loves you enough where he says ‘I got this.’ See, he has no problem having you pay and sticking his dick in you. So, he has no problem using you. Is that the future you want? To be used? You cant be that desperate.
YOU ARE NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP THAT IS READY FOR MARRIAGE WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU this has to be rage bait oh my god
Why would you want to be with a cheap guy? Like ever?
I would handle it by breaking up really.
Don’t marry someone you have been dating for just over a year, especially if you haven’t had a talk about how to manage shared finances. Do you have a plan for how to split things when you move in? Will you have a joint bank account? Credit card? Get on the same page now, before things are even more complicated
Speaking as a cheapskate, he’s doing it wrong.
The effective way is learning to make stuff so other people want to keep him around. He’s just begging for money and that gets irritating. I think you should tell him to quit gold digging or maybe just leave because he’s gold digging.
Is this the kind of guy you really want to be married to?