My (19M) mom (39F) ran away and abandoned our dad when I was 14. My dad pretty much raised my sister (17F) and I single-handedly until about a year ago, when he passed away. Since we had no other relatives, we had to go to our mom, whose husband had died since then and she had a 4 year old son.
I stay away in college, but my sister called me up a day ago telling me that our mom’s forcing her to bond with our half-brother, and that she simply doesn’t feel emotionally connected to him and can’t hang out with him.
I called my mother and told her that she simply can’t force love upon someone. She scolded me and hung up on me.
AITA?
Comments
Totally NTA. Your parent is in the wrong.
If you are forced to live with her then there might not be any other choice but to appease your mother or risk getting kicked out. Of you can make your mother change then that’s great but I’m going to guess you mom is quite a childish/dysfunctional parent (a real adult don’t scream on their child on the phone, they listen and try to understand even if they feel hurt).
The number 1 focus should be your and your sisters survival and wellbeing. You are not alone in being forced to live with a dysfunctional parent, do what you can to get yourself to a better place.
NTA. I think your sister needs be polite to him, and expect the same in return. Beyond that, it could work out with time between them, but it can’t be forced.
NTA does this bonding time consists of her baby babysitting?
She doesn’t wanna hear it because she benefits from it. She knows what she’s doing. She’s just upset that other people can obviously see it.
Your mom wants a babysitter.
Your sister has at least another year in the house.
So, she can focus on school and a part time job to earn money so she can support herself from the time she can leave, or go to college or whatever further education she wants.
It would be NICE if she babysat occasionally but other than that,
your sister will never have a sibling bond with a child she barely knows and who she is forced to be with.
But treating the child like any other kid, friendly, polite etc usually makes life easier for both her and the kid.
Mom can call it bonding but it doesn’t make it so.
NTA
NTA.
NTA, your Mom wants her to babysit while she lives there. Since she’s 17 she can move out. The police won’t make her return. Is it possible that she can move in with you until she starts college or a job at 18? That way neither of you have to deal with your Mother ever again.
You were right telling your mom what you did.
But you should also talk to your sister and remind her that it’s not the child’s fault. She should be polite to him and not blame him for your mother’s abandonment. Nothing is his fault. But she shouldn’t babysit him or do any parenting of him. She can play with him if she chooses to but she doesn’t owe your mom any childcare. Hopefully she can leave for college when she is 18 and not look back.
I would tell her to pretend til she can leave
Tell your sister to say no to any babysitting and the moment mom tries to force her she needs to drop the boy off at a Firestation.
NTA. She’ll learn when your sister goes no contact with her soon.
NTA! Your mother abandoned you guys and is now forcing a relationship with her other child? Oh hell no.
Does your sister have anyone else to live with? Your paternal relatives? By the time your mom gets a court date to get custody, she’ll be 18.