My ex-brother in law stole 40K from my sister’s 401K to pay for numerous sex workers while he was traveling for work. My sister found out he was doing this when the IRS showed up demanded taxes on the withdrawals.
My sister is the kindest person on the planet and she got them both in counseling to give their marriage another chance, but finally divorced him when she learned he was still reaching out to sex workers. She never said a bad word about him to their three kids and made sure everyone got counseling and the kids never learned what caused the divorce.
To make matters worse, my sister is a nurse and all this happened in 2020-2021, when she was reassigned to a COVID ward at her hospital. My sister worked nonstop for months caring for patients with COVID while dealing with this and protected their 3 kids the whole time, never saying a negative word about their father or what he had done.
My sister did not go scorched earth after her ex like her attorney wanted to during the divorce and instead they respectfully and amicably worked out a fair spousal support and child custody agreement that allowed my sister to keep the house and their kids to remain in their school district. problem.
Now, a few years later, he is on his fourth girlfriend since the divorce and he has started being more hostile to my sister, when previously they had an amicable coparenting relationship.
Then out of the blue this summer he filed to reduce child support and eliminate spousal support. As a result of the filing, we realized he went through my sister’s house when she wasn’t home to find out how much her income had increased since the divorce, so he could file to reduce child support and eliminate spousal support.
My sister met with an atty, who said that under Illinois law there isn’t anything she can do, based on their incomes she will lose spousal support and child custody payments will be reduced.
My sister is going to have to sell her house and move her 3 kids to another school district to find a house she can afford. Her twins just started high school and their youngest just started junior high and she is absolutely devastated about having to move for their sakes. She has not told the kids yet and still refuses to say anything that is not positive about their father or his girlfriend because she is an actual saint.
Does she have any legal recourse? Any advice on how to help her and their kids stay in the house for just a few more years until the kids are finished with school?
Thank you for any advice!
Location: Illinois
Comments
You see enough of these stories and you understand why Vito Corleone was a respected part of the community.
Legal recourse for what? She’s entitled to support consistent with state law. If state law is such they those amounts should change, they should change.
What evidence is there of his going through her home? How did that happen? Has the home been divided in dissolution? Or is there some “it was his home” nature of this?
His going through her things could be criminal. It doesn’t change the financial reality of their orders. Similarly, his behavior might be abhorrent. It doesn’t change anything post-dissolution. Or much pre-dissolution.
NAL but Her kids need to know what their father is doing. He is ruining his kids lives. He needs to be accountable.
this is the wrong subreddit for this, reach out to 2 more attorneys theyll probably say the same thing
Your sister didn’t take the counsel’s advice. There have been settlements. Sister can go back to court and appeal the settlement. Sister should listen to the attorney this time.
Not a lawyer. The reason for the divorce never has a bearing on the spousal support/child support amount. It’s usually some formula that calculates who owes what. The most she could have done is at the time she discovered the theft of the 401k money, she could have made her husband pay half of the taxes owed.
Even if he had not snuck into the house to find out what she made, he could have legally requested said information through an attorney. Her attorney could make an argument that she needs the support to keep a roof over the kids and her but it might not go her way.
Pension actuary here with a different take.
How did he get to her 401(k)? Either he stole her login/password or the plan administrator allowed a distribution that they should not have. This is fraud. Talking to the DOL may help.
There’s far too many times when I come to this sub and the first advice that comes to mind is strikingly illegal