I (17F) is now a senior in high school and I am in marching band. Since it’s the start of football season we have many events going on in our community. Yesterday we got to present our show to our families and friends. My mom (35F) promised to show but did not. Then today both my mom and my stepdad (36M) and my younger siblings were supposed to come and watch us perform at a park. They dropped me off and then left because children were screaming about being hungry and thirsty even though there was food and drinks at the event for free. They finally came back when we finished up our last song. When I got to the car I said I wanted to go home in a calm voice. We are now in the car and my stepdad is yelling at me saying I need to let my anger out and let them have it. I told him no and just smiled knowing Karma will come to get them back. I’m still very upset but I don’t want them to have that satisfaction of seeing me cry. Now they aren’t talking to me and haven’t even apologized for missing my events. So am I the asshole?
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I (17F) is now a senior in high school and I am in marching band. Since it’s the start of football season we have many events going on in our community. Yesterday we got to present our show to our families and friends. My mom (35F) promised to show but did not. Then today both my mom and my stepdad (36M) and my younger siblings were supposed to come and watch us perform at a park. They dropped me off and then left because children were screaming about being hungry and thirsty even though there was food and drinks at the event for free. They finally came back when we finished up our last song. When I got to the car I said I wanted to go home in a calm voice. We are now in the car and my stepdad is yelling at me saying I need to let my anger out and let them have it. I told him no and just smiled knowing Karma will come to get them back. I’m still very upset but I don’t want them to have that satisfaction of seeing me cry. Now they aren’t talking to me and haven’t even apologized for missing my events. So am I the asshole?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I don’t understand why they would want me to yell at them for their mistakes. I feel it would give them more of a reason to get me in trouble for saying things I can’t take back.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Nta
You are not the asshole at all. You are justified in feeling whatever you have inside, and no one else can mandate how you portray your emotions. Losing your mind and screaming will never prevail over a well thought out, calm and articulate point of view. Respond with reason, don’t get lost in emotions. And just be true to who you are.
NTA
NTA. You’re actually executing a great power move here. Your stepdad sounds like a jerk looking for a fight.
I’m not sure if there is a history of favoritism in your family from this post alone.
NTA. I don’t think they have any right to police how you express your emotions. I’m not really sure exactly why they want you to blow up on them. Sucks to hear that they skipped your performance.
Sounds like you’re in complete control of the situation. Karma is a cruel lady!
NTA. They bailed on you twice in two days, and somehow youre the one getting yelled at? Sounds like they’re trying to shift the guilt they feel onto you
I’m so sorry. You are NTA. When I get upset I always feel much better if I take a walk. It gets it out of my system and helps me feel better♥️
They blew you off, and now they want you to perform some kind of emotion for them? Sorry but that’s twisted. And of course NTA.
Definitely NTA, they not only did it once but twicee, if you already calmed down and in the right headspace, you could try talking to themm. It’s better to communicate it now than to bottle it up and explode again laterr
ABSOLUTELY NOT the A.
It is always better to ‘attack’ or better address the issue rather than a person. Anger creates more anger, while calm centered facts and reasoning can bring solutions. If their unreliability is a regular occurrence don’t write them off, things can happen. At the same time accept and prepare yourself for their unreliability. Press on , take pride in your efforts, be confident of the truth that this is not a reflection of you. Always be ready to take the next step, steps in everything you do. Do not allow yourself to get stuck in park because you’re waiting for their approval or for them to show up. You are more than enough.
Nta at all. You can’t convince me that your stepdad telling you to go off at him wasn’t a damn trap. I think he wanted you to go off at him so he and your mom could try and turn it around at you.