my bf and i have been together for almost 2 years. he buys me little things here and there when i ask for them (when he has the money… he has issues keeping jobs for more than a couple months.) but he’s never bought me any christmas/mother’s day/birthday/valentine’s gifts….ever. i turned 25 this month and he bought me a taylor swift shirt, but this is the first gift he’s EVER gotten me. EVER. he says im being unreasonable because he buys me things all year. am i the asshole for wanting to break up with him? this has started multiple fights, he also doesn’t really clean or do laundry unless i ask him to, and he plays video games and drinks alcohol (less than he used to, but still) and smokes weed.
Breaking up because he wouldn’t buy me holiday gifts?
r/AITAH
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Sounds like you just don’t like him. End things asap so you don’t waste any more of your or his time.
NTA. You can break up with anyone for any reason. Not buying gifts just opened your eyes to how he treats you. He doesn’t help around the house and keeps losing jobs. Break up. Take time to get over him and find someone who will keep a job, do their part around the house, and treat you right.
NTAH but the guy has a complete collection of red flags and just rings the bell he not to give you gifts
You two don’t sound compatible at all. Good rRelationships are based on mutual respect and compromise by both people.
NTA you don’t value the same things, you’re not compatible
That aside, why would your bf buy you a mother’s day present? Are you the mother of his child(ren)?
More info needed…. how old is he?
NTA, he’s using you
NTA. the guy is a wreck. it’s not the lack of just gifts that’s the problem. he’s in his own man-world where there’s no turning back.
You must give him his pink slip asap! Been there, done that. My ex always had a good reason. No matter how he feels, he should do it because it is important to you. Don’t back down, this is going to define your relationship forever.
Leach
This dude is a looser – move on
The gifts honestly sound like the least of your problems this guys a loser. Can’t keep a job doesn’t help around the house. Why do you want to be with him so bad? This is really the example you want to set for your child. If you have a boy this is how he will think it’s ok to act and be treated. If you have a girl some day she will think a guy acting and treating her this way is normal. Please move on and find a better man.
Sounds like the lack of gifts was the camel that broke the camels back. He clearly isn’t what you are looking for in a partner, and that’s ok. Dating is all about getting to know the person and determining compatibility. He’s Move on you are not compatible.
There are millions of potential partners in the world. Just because you accidentally hook up with someone who doesn’t make you particularly happy doesn’t mean you have any obligation to stay. You just tell them you aren’t feeling it any more, and you are breaking up with them. That’s it!
As long as you don’t have a baby or didn’t get married, you just move on and choose better next time. Don’t mention specific things, at this point, you are not trying to change their behavior or negotiate the terms of the relationship, and nitpicking will just lead to arguing or attempts at deal-making. Do the break-up in a quiet but semi-public place, so that he won’t go ape-shit if he’s into that kind of thing.
NTA. He sounds like a real prize. /s Why waste any more of your time with a guy who constantly needs to be prodded and doesn’t really contribute?
GTFO this guy is not your man. He is a manchild and you are his bangmaid. Run don’t walk get out now before you have children with home. Lazy and manipulative fuck him off.
He listened and bought you a birthday gift this year, but you’re mad because he didn’t do it before. I don’t know how that’s going to work out in your favor in any relationship
Hang on to your resentment and let the guy go. Nothing is worse than trying to do better and having someone ignore it in favor of being upset.
He doesn’t buy you gifts. Except for the gifts he buys throughout the year and for your birthday. You sound shallow. Do him a favor and go.
How many kids you got with this man?
This is what dating is for, finding out if you’re compatible. He can’t keep a job and can’t remember his adulting unless he’s reminded. It doesn’t seem you’re happy so it’s time to cut and run.
You didn’t mention how he is with the kids
You mentioned Mother’s Day gifts but what about the kids?
But just based on what you have said, I hope you move on
Do you want to have to work while raising children with this man who can’t hold a job? Do you want to the be the provider? These men want all this trad wife cooking cleaning and child rearing but they can’t or won’t provide the food shelter clothing and repairs. You’re better off on your own.
you have bigger issues than lack of gifts. if he can only hold a job for a few months at time, that would be the big issue for me. how does he pay rent, or is that on you. He doesn’t clean or do laundry unless you ask. what the heck.
I would say there are multiple red flags here. Not only does he never but you gifts, but the can’t hold down a job thing but always finds money/time for alcohol, drugs, and gaming isn’t something you’re going to want to put up with long term on top of never receiving gifts. Listen to your gut.
Your boyfriend can’t keep a job, won’t clean or do laundry, he drinks and smokes and you are worried about gifts. YTA
First of all, he plays video games all day and can’t keep a job, that makes him a loser. Your best life is gonna be living below his Mom, hope her basement doesn’t get wet. Secondly, if you’re really wanting to break up cause he buys you stuff all year, but not on major holidays then you are kind of shallow. I get it, it’s nice to have something on Christmas or birthday, but certainly wouldn’t be a deal breaker if you were truly in love with the person he is. Then again, the person he is is like a 15 year old that plays video games, drinks and smokes pot rather than working, so what’s really to love? Get a new guy.
So, rather than an actual bf, you’re really just looking for a sugar daddy!!!
YTA.
So youre dating a deadbeat?
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he’d rather spend his money on drugs and alcohol? and i had to pay the rent for a couple months because he couldn’t keep a job? ---- he has issues keeping jobs for more than a couple monthsOMG you are 25 years old and you can’t see this guy is a total loser – you don’t mention his age but he acts like he’s 18 yrs old
You need to have some Self Respect and kick him out or leave. Let him figure out how to support himself or find some other chickie he can sucker into supporting him.
How can you say you love someone who has 3 addictions, can’t keep a job and doesn’t do anything around the house – I think you just love having someone so you can say you have a boyfriend.
WTF are you supporting someone who I assume to be close to your age (in his 20’s) when he would rather spend what money he does have on drugs, games and alcohol ???? You said he can’t keep a job for more than a couple of months.
GROW UP You are supporting someone with addictions to drugs, alcohol and games. Doesn’t clean or do laundry because you do it all for him. You are not his GF, you’re a frigging maid with benefits, one of which is supporting him.
You would be an asshole if you stayed with him.
You are supporting and playing wifey to a drug/alcohol/game addict, who can’t keep a job — LEAVE HIM
yes, you are.
why do you need mother’s day gifts from him? is he your son? and what’s wrong with playing video games?